


Until You're By My Side

by SchattenEngel



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Fluff, Romance, Tokio Hotel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-31
Updated: 2011-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:37:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchattenEngel/pseuds/SchattenEngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>17 year old Tara Smith wins a ticket and backstage pass to go see Tokio Hotel in concert! Tara starts to fall in love with the lead singer Bill Kaulitz. Tara’s abusive ex-boyfriend John is furious and can’t stand seeing her with a rock star. Causing more conflict, Tara’s alcoholic father is getting more and more aggressive each day. Will Tara and Bill be able to keep loving each other, when John is causing nothing but problems? Will John destroy everything there is for Tara and Bill?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Living Hell

Tara’s POV

I doodled hearts and Tokio Hotel symbols on a sheet of lined paper with a worn out  
pencil. The class room was full of chit chatter and laughter. Today was the final day of 12th grade. I looked up at the clock and watched it until it was 2:45p.m. When the bell rang there was nothing but cheering and screaming from the other class mates. I shoved the sheet of paper and pencil into my bag and walked past Ms. Stevenson’s desk. Right before I could walk out the door, Ms. Stevenson called my name.  
I turned around and walked up to her desk. What the hell did she want, it’s the last day of school for god sake.

She looked up at me with her pale blue eyes and smiled. She handed me a small slip of paper that said my name “Tara Smith”.  
I took the slip of paper in my hand and looked at her in confusion. “Report to room 24, they have a surprise for you!” she said.  
I smiled and walked out of the classroom dodging the crowds of students in the hall way. I was walking past room 23 when I saw John Raven, my ex-boyfriend. He was tall, thin, he had snake bites and had emo cut hair.

I broke up with him a week ago and he still can’t get over it.  
He keeps sending me text messages and tries calling me. He was so abusive. He would constantly ask were I was 24/7 and forbid me to do like anything.  
He shoved me against the wall and punched me when I said it was over.

I still have the bruises on my body but they aren’t any worse than the scares I’ve gotten from my father.  
I tried to slip past him without him noticing.  
This time I got lucky and I dashed in room 24 without him seeing me. There were about 7 other students in the room. Most of them are annoying preps.  
A teacher called me over and told me to give her the slip with my name on it. She put it in a hat with the names of the other 7 students. I sat down beside the others waited for further instructions. The teacher spoke with a very enthusiastic voice “I will pick one of seven of your names out of this hat.” “This is for all of your good behavior all throughout high school”.

“The one I pick get’s a ticket to go see a band’s concert and meet them in person backstage!”  
Sequels of excitement came from the people beside me. I was happy about it, but I would never get it.

Plus she didn’t even say what band it is that the winner goes to see.  
She slowly placed her hand in the hat, swished around the slips of paper and picked one. We were stared intensely at the teacher waiting for her to call the I winners name.  
A smile was on her lips as she said “Tara Smith!”.  
The others groaned and sighed and walked out of the room disappointed.

I grabbed my bag and walked up to the teacher and she handed me a ticket and a backstage pass.  
I walked out of the class room trying to read were it stated the name of the band. I read “Tokio Hotel”.  
I started jumping up and down like a little kid that just received the gift of her dreams! Oh my god I can’t believe it!

I’m going to see my favorite band of all time play on June 16th and I’m going to meet them. Holy shit that means I get to meet Bill Kaulitz!  
I was so overjoyed I couldn’t take it. I calmed myself down and happily walked to the exit.  
I couldn’t keep my eyes off the ticket that I wasn’t paying any attention to were I was going and bumped into someone. I looked up and gasped at the sigh of John.

He locked his eyes with mine and we just stared at each other.  
This was very uncomfortable. He stepped closer to me and I slipped the ticket into my pocket. I could tell he was going to hit me.  
There wasn’t a person in sight and I could almost see the steam coming from his ears.  
He raised his fist and I flinched when I heard someone yell “Back off, jackass!” It was my friend Shannon. She took me by the hand and we ran to her small yellow buggie. We got in and she drove to the direction of my house.

We stayed silent until she asked “Are you ok?” I whispered “Yeah, thank god you showed up.” We were all silent the rest of the ride to my house.  
As we pulled up the my house, I took off my seat belt and hugged Shannon.

“Thank you so much for saving my ass back there.” she said “no prob” as I got out and shut the door. I walked up the steps and opened the screen door and put the key in the door as she said “Text me!” as she pulled out of the drive way.  
I turned the key and pushed open the door. I shut the door behind me as I walked in, trying not to make a sound.  
As I turned around I dodged a flying glass bottle of beer.  
I looked up and see my father at the kitchen table, with empty bottles everywhere.

I started to shake and I was frozen. If that hit me, that would have been the 4th glass bottle of beer to hit me this week.  
When he looked up at me, I took off. I ran up to my room as fast as I could and locked my door.  
I’m sick of this, I’m sick of living in fear. I threw my bag on my bed and walked over to my nightstand. I plugged my ipod touch into my dock and hit the play button.

“Schwarz” started playing. I placed my bag on the floor and collapsed in my bed.  
I cried in my pillow, leaving black stains of mascara and eyeliner. The world disappeared around me as I slipped into dream land.  
My eyes shot open as I heard banging coming from outside my door.

I sat up In my bed and turned down the music to listen. I heard another knock and then my mom’s voice “Do you want dinner or not?” I sighed and walked to the door.  
I opened it to see a bowl of ramen noodles sitting outside my door, on the floor. I picked it up and walked in my room, slamming the door behind me.  
I sat in bed and ate some noodles. I turned up the music and sang along to “Hilf Mir Fliegen”. I know German because I took it all throughout high school.

When I was done eating I tossed the paper bowl and plastic spoon into the trash bin.  
I listened to music for a while and then took a shower. I got dressed for bed, wearing a baggy shirt and shorts.  
I looked in the mirror and brushed my brown hair with streaks of red. I brushed my teeth with extra mint toothpaste.  
My teeth are perfect. They are white, straight, never had braces and never had a cavity. I jumped in bed and put on my sleep play list. I fell fast asleep as soon as I heard “1000 Oceans” Begin to play.

“BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!” my stupid alarm clock rang. I forgot to reset my alarm.  
I no longer need to wake up at 6:00a.m for school. I slammed the black button the top of the alarm clock.  
I rolled off my bed and decided I would get a early start today, unlike all the other teens do the day after the last day of school.

Most of them sleep in and/or hung-over from partying. I jumped in the shower and got ready for the day.  
I put on a Tokio Hotel T-shirt with the whole band on it. I slipped on some black jeans.  
I put on black and red striped gloves with little chains and safety pins.

Yes I like the punk look, but I’m not like all the other Tokio Hotel fans that jack Bill’s style and were like exactly what he wears.  
I have my own style, because I’m not lazy.  
I went on facebook, but no one was on. I cleaned my room to pass the time.

I placed the pants I wore yesterday and put them in the clothes bin, but I was sure to take the ticket out and put it somewhere safe.  
I walked down the steps slow and silent. I looked at my phone and it was 10:30 already.  
I grabbed a breakfast bar on the way out and went to the mall.

I know it was kind of early and only senior citizens hang at the mall at this time, but I need to wear something awesome to the concert in two days.  
I walked in the Hot Topic basically running to the band t-shirts.

Right before me was the best Tokio Hotel t-shirt I ever saw.  
It was black and had Bill, Tom, Georg and Gustav all together and it says “Tokio Hotel” all over it with the symbol.

It was $25 but it was worth it! I walked up to the checkout and see Shannon.  
She ran out from behind the cash register and hugs me. “I didn’t know you work at Hot Topic!” I laughed.  
She smiled and said “yeah, my mom wanted me to get a job but I don’t mind.  
I freaking love this store!” We chatted the whole day till it was time for her to leave work.  
I got out my phone and called my mom to tell her about the concert.  
She picked up the phone and sounded like she was in a bad mood “Hello, what do you want Tar? I’m at work.” I sighed.

My mom is always working, and never pays any attention to what my father does to me.  
“I won tickets to go see Tokio Hotel tomorrow from a radio station” I lied.  
If she knew I had them at home she would have my dad find them and sell them.

She mumbled something and said “whatever…” and hung up.  
I slammed my phone shut and walked with Shannon to her car.  
We stopped at my house to grab a few things because I was sleeping over Shannon’s house to get away from a living hell for a day. Dad was no where to be found. Good. I went upstairs and got my stuff together and left for Shannon’s.


	2. Blushing Bright Red

Tara’s POV  
I open my eyes to see that I fell asleep on Shannon’s couch.  
She slept on the recliner next to me. I got up and shook Shannon’s arm until she woke up. When she got up she asked what time it was. It was around 12:00p.m and I needed to get ready for the concert.

She was going to drive me out to the city early so we could fight the traffic.  
I put on my awesome new Tokio Hotel T-shirt and slipped on another pair of jeans.  
I had to look my best because I was going to meet Tokio Hotel!  
I am so happy, but scared. What will they think of me?  
Oh my god I wonder if they are really what they are like on Tokio Hotel TV?  
I was asking myself all these questions while Shannon was straightening my hair. Shannon keep saying that we had to leave now If we wanted to beat the traffic.

I finished up with my make-up and we ran to the car.  
I felt bad because Shannon was a fan, but she couldn’t go.  
We were very early but it was for the better.  
I waited until they let me, along with a big crowd in. I was freaking out because I got front row! We all chanted “Tokio Hotel!  
Tokio Hotel! Tokio Hotel!” waiting for them to appear on stage.  
When they came on stage we all started screaming.

Oh my god Bill looked so awesome. His hair was long and puffed out with black with white streaks. He was wearing jeans with a red T-shirt and a leather jacket.  
He was so tall.  
Tom made his way to the left of the stage, as Georg went to the right.  
Gustav headed to his drums. Bill stayed in the middle. I was so close to him.  
They started out with “Ready, Set, Go!” and it was amazing.

I knew all the words to every song and I sang along, with the rest of the audience.  
This was the best day of my life! I was going by so fast, too fast.  
They started to play “By your side” and I was in a trance.  
I couldn’t take my eyes off of Bill. Everything about him was so beautiful.  
I would have swore that he glanced at me and locked eyes with me about three time during the song so far.

It was at the very end of the song when he looked me straight in the eyes, smiled and sang “I am by your side, just for a little while.  
We’ll make it if we try.” Tears filled in my eyes. His voice was so beautiful.  
His voice was full of comfort and love.  
It made me fell warm and fuzzy inside when he sang to me.  
I did read online that he makes a lot of eye contact with his fans during shows, but not like this!

After the show was over the audience moved slowly toward the exit.  
Once enough people were out I started to look for a security guard to escort me backstage. A portly middle-aged man showed me the way backstage.  
The show ended about 25 minutes ago, so I had to wait outside the door in a seat until they were ready for me.

While I waited I grabbed my eyeliner out if my bag and fixed my make-up.  
It was somewhat smeared, so I fixed it. As soon as I shoved my make-up back in my bag, the security guard came out of the room and said that Tokio Hotel was ready for me.  
I can’t believe this is happening, I’m finally going to meet them!  
I walked in and saw Bill, Tom, Georg and Gustav sitting down on a huge black couch. They all looked at me and smiled.

The guard asked if he needed to stay, Bill said that he could go.  
I was alone with Tokio Hotel. I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say.  
Bill got up and walked over to me smiling and hugged me.  
I guess he was trying to make me feel conferrable around them.  
The rest of Tokio Hotel got up and gave me a hug as well. They sat me down on the couch and I said “It… It’s so aw-awesome to meet you g-guys!  
M-my name is Tara Smith.” All of Tokio Hotel introduced themselves.  
Bill pointed to my Tokio Hotel shirt and said “Hey, nice shirt!”

I smiled at him and looked at his awesome leather jacket.  
Tom elbowed Bill in the shoulder and said “Glaubst du, ich kann sie zu veranlassen, kommen mit mir zurück zu dem Hotel?”  
(“Do you think I can convince her to come back with me to the hotel?”)  
Gustav rolled his eyes and Georg chuckled. Bill looked at me in the eyes and smiled.  
He looked at Tom and said “Sie ist nicht dass art von Mädchen. von dem, was ich sehe.” (“she is not that kind of girl. From what I see.”)

My face was as red as an apple, I could feel it. Did Tom really just say that he wanted me to go back with him to the hotel?  
And Bill thinks that I’m not the fan-whore type of girl.

When I turned red they all looked at me. I giggled while saying “I think now is the time to tell you that I speak German.”  
Bill blushed knowing that I knew exactly what he said to Tom.  
I think what Bill said was sweet. After an odd moment of silence Bill smiled at me again and asked “Would you like anything to drink?”  
Did Bill Kaulitz just ask Me if I wanted a drink. Oh my god I must be dreaming.  
I tried to speak but nothing came out.  
Tom blurted out “Just grab her a Coke.” Bill looked at me and I nodded. He got up and walked out of the room.

Tom stood up and gave me his hand. I took it not knowing what to expect.  
He walked me over to his guitar. He said “You play?” I said  
“No, but I always wanted to learn.”  
He smiled and gently pushed my back against the wall.  
He placed his hands on my hips and whispered seductively in my ear  
“I could teach you how to play guitar, along with some other things.”  
I turned bright red and I couldn’t breath.

He closed his eyes as his lips inched toward mine.  
Bill walked in when I placed a finger on Tom’s lips and pushed him away. He opened his eyes in shock of my reaction. Georg yelled “Rejected!!!”  
As they all laughed at Tom.  
Bill looked at me with a smile of amusement on his face.

I walked up to Bill said “You need to break it to lover boy over there that he can’t seduce every girl that he lays eyes on.”  
as he handed me a Coke. Bill laughed and said “You’re funny!”  
He smiled at me with his brown eyes shining beautifully.  
Tom walked past Bill and I, over to Georg and Gustav and mumbled  
“Yeah, soooo funny.”

I laughed at him and said “Come on Tom don’t be a bad sport.”  
Gustav called out “Yeah Tom, don’t be a bad sport!” mocking him.  
We all made are way back to sitting on the couch.  
I was sitting in the middle of Bill and Tom, with Georg and Gustav next to Tom.  
Bill took a sip of his peppermint tea and asked  
“So Tara, did you like the show?”  
I smiled at the memory of Bill singing “By Your Side” with his eyes locked on me and I said “Like it? I loved it! You guys were amazing!”  
They all smiled at my response. All the sudden I heard my phone go off in my bag.

“I scream into the night for you, don’t make it true. Don’t jump!”  
Tokio Hotel started to laugh as I blushed and tried to get my phone out of my bag as soon as possible trying to end my embarrassment.  
I put it on vibrate and looked up at them and smiled, beginning to laugh.  
Bill laughed and said “Hey, nice ringtone!” I giggled “Danke”.

Bill grabbed a black sharpie and grabbed my hand. His hands were so soft.  
He wrote his cell number on my hand and said “Now you can send it to me.”  
I looked up at him and we locked our eyes on each other and smiled.  
Tom just had to ruin the moment by saying “Oh, now look who’s lover boy!”  
We all laughed. My phone vibrated and I flipped it open and saw a text from Shannon.

Shan: Hey, I’m go’n 2 pick you up now. have to be home b4 12.  
I looked up at Bill and he asked “What is it?” I frowned and said  
“My friend Shannon is my ride home and she’s leaving the city now, so I have to leave with her.”

Bill frowned with me. His eyes lit up and he said “I could give you a ride home!”  
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The Bill Kaulitz just offered to give me a ride home! “Are you sure?” He smiled and said “Yeah.” Gustav said “Yeah it’s fun to hang out with fans, they’re fun.”  
I smiled and said “Ok I’ll tell her that I have a ride home.” I stayed with them and chatted and laughed for an hour and a half. Bill took my hand and walked us to the exit.

He looked at me and smiled.  
“The others are going back to the hotel while I drive you home.”  
We tried to stay out of sight, especially away from paparazzi.  
We walked hand it hand. His hands were so warm. We walked up to his car. He opened up the door for me and I got in. Damn he had a nice car.

He got in on the other side. He looked over to me and smiled.  
Oh, I love how he smiles so much.

He asked me where I lived and he punched it into his GPS. He put the Scream CD in and turned it up on max. On the way we sang multiple songs on the album.  
He turned down the volume when we were at a red light and asked what song I wanted to hear.  
I though for a moment and requested “By Your Side”. He smiled and said “Nice choice”. I blushed at his comment. I sang along to the whole song along with Bill.

His eyes light up and he placed his hand over mine and said “You have a very pretty voice, Tarra.”

I smiled “Danke, Bill” We were about three blocks away from my house when Bill turned down the music again and said “I had a lot of fun with you tonight, we all did.” I smiled “I had fun as well.”  
We pulled up into the drive way and put the car in park. Our eyes were locked on each other. “We have a small show to perform tomorrow and have the rest of the day to ourselves. I wanted to know if you would like to hang out with me?” Bill asked. I smiled and said “Sure, sounds like fun!”

He got out of the car and walked around to my side and opened the door for me and helped me out.  
He’s such a gentlemen. He shut my door and hugged me.  
I hugged him back.  
He smelled so good. I waved and said good-bye, about to walk to the door when he grabbed my hand and gently pulled me back to him, crushing his lips with mine.  
At first I was shocked but then I responded to the kiss. He tasted sweat.

The kiss was long and full of passion. We both pulled back for air and Bill looked me straight in the eyes and said “I-I’m so sorry, I-” Before he could finish I kissed him.  
I put my arms around his neck and played with his hair.  
His arms snaked around to my back.  
Pulling me closer to him.  
He was so gentle with me. He kept me in his strong embrace throughout the kiss.  
I felt so safe with him. My heart felt as though it were going to burst, it was pounding so fast. When are lips departed we both smiled.

I was blushing and so was he.  
I hugged him again, gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said “Guten nacht, Bill.”  
He whispered “Guten nacht” back to me and I walked to the door and opened it.  
I turned around and watched him drive away.  
I walked upstairs into my bedroom and sat in my bed.  
I couldn’t believe I just made out with Bill Kaulitz.  
I smiled “this is officially the best day of my life!”  
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I got it out and flipped it open.  
My smiled faded when I saw who text me. It was John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and tell me what you think!=)


	3. Sound Of A Heartbeat

Tara’s POV  
My breathing slowed and time felt like it stood still.  
My eyes were locked on the text I just received from John.

John: Who’s the guy w/ the big car, you were kissing. Y did he drive you home so late, you little whore? I swear if I see you w/ him again, you will regret it.  
I began to shake in fear. John was stalking me and watching my every move.

He must have known I was going to a concert and waited for my return.  
Thank god it was dark and he couldn’t see that I was with Bill Kaulitz.  
This isn’t good at all.  
If he finds out that Bill was the guy I was with, my relationship with Bill is destined to fail. John is extremely dangerous and I can’t let anything happen to Bill.

John murdered his own mother when he was only 15.

He wasn’t sent away because they didn’t have enough evidence, but I knew he was guilty. I wasn’t aware of this when he asked me out.  
When I heard the story I wasn’t convinced, but when I looked up the story online it was everywhere. Pictures of his mother and the whole case.  
I was shocked but when I saw the marks I got from John, I knew he was capable of murder. I sat still for moment to breath and think about what I can do about the situation, when all the sudden my phone started to vibrate.  
I picked it up slowly and looked at who was calling. It was Shannon.

Thank god, I have Shannon as a friend. She helped me out with problems with John before. The only problem is that the situation wasn’t as bad as this one.  
I picked up the phone and answered “Hello, Shannon.” “Hey, oh my god.  
How was the concert and what was Tokio Hotel like in person?” she asked anxiously.  
I tried to sound as happy as possible and said  
“The concert was awesome and Tokio Hotel was even funnier in person, then on Tokio Hotel TV.”  
I knew I had to tell her about Bill and I, if I were to tell her about the situation with John.

I took a deep breath and said happily “Shannon, you’ll never guessed what happened! Bill was so nice and he gave me a ride home as you know.  
Well, he gave me his cell number and we kissed!”  
A moment after I let the information I told her sink in, she screamed loudly  
“OH MY GOD!!!” I held the phone away from my ear.

Ouch, she is so damn loud. When she was done screaming I put the phone up to my ear and laughed “You done freaking out?”  
She laughed and said “How am I not to freak out when I just found out my best friend made out with a rock star!”  
I smiled at the memory him holding me tight in his strong embrace, as we kissed slowly in the night.  
Before she asks me a million questions I have to tell her about John.

I took a deep breath and said “We have a problem… John was hiding somewhere, waiting for me to return from the concert.

He saw the kiss and he threatened me.” There was a dead silence for a few moments and then I heard a soft “Oh no.” that came from Shannon.  
I opened my mouth slowly wondering how to brighten up this problem. I said “John didn’t see who I kissed, so Bill is safe for now. You can’t tell ANYONE about me and Bill.  
It might put Bill in danger. I know that he is famous and all, but he can still get hurt.  
If John finds out about Bill, things will get very bad. You and I both know John is guilty of killing his own mother. Imagine what he would do to Bill if he finds out.”

Shannon said confidently “It will all work out in the end, Bill will be safe and everything will be ok. You can trust me to keep your secret with Bill, a secret.”  
I smiled and said “Thank you”.  
We both chatted for a while because she just had to have so many questions about Tokio Hotel. We said good-bye and I shut my phone.

I plugged my phone into the charger and got ready for bed.  
I laid down in my bed and pushed play on my iPod.  
I snuggled into my covers as “An Deiner Seite” started to play.  
I listened this song when I needed to feel comfort, but couldn’t run to my parents arms. They were causing most of the conflict to begin with.

Sense I met Bill I knew he was by my side and that he would hold me if I reached for him. Just like the lyrics in the song.  
Except this wasn’t a song anymore, it was reality.  
Like Shannon said, it should all work out in the end. I sure hope it will.  
I closed my eyes and listened to Bill’s sweat angel-like voice fill my room.  
I just have to remember, We’ll make it, if we try.

I opened my eyes and felt entirely too tired to get up, I could barley keep my eyes open.  
I laid back down on my soft blanket giving up the fight of staying awake.  
I felt sunshine shimmer through the window and shine on my face.  
Why was it so sunny, so early? I shot up and grabbed my cell phone.  
Oh my god, it’s 2:15p.m already!  
I didn’t get hardly any sleep last night, but I had to get up.  
I jumped in the shower and got dressed. I put on some black skinny jeans with a gray cami. I blow-dried my hair and straightened it.  
I had no idea what time Bill was going to be done the show.

After I was done getting ready its was 3:45p.m. I walked downstairs and saw my dad sitting in a old red recliner, drinking a beer.  
I walked right past him without saying a word. I opened up the refrigerator and there was no food, only beer.  
I walked over to a cabinet and found apple and cinnamon oatmeal. I made it and sat at the kitchen table and ate it in silence.  
I knew my dad would yell at me any second for something, I just knew it.

I was about halfway finished my oatmeal when my dad got up out of his chair and walked up to the table I was sitting at. I didn’t look up at him.  
I didn’t want to. In a flash, a empty glass bottle of beer was thrown right in my direction. There was no time to get out of the way.

The glass shattered right on the table. I slice of glass sprung up and sliced the side of my cheek. I gasped at the sharp glass pierced my flesh.  
I reached up with my hand trembling and poked it, I screamed in pain.  
Tears started to flow as I looked down at my fingertips to find blood from the cut.  
I look up and see my father starring me dead in the eyes.  
I took a deep breath. As I saw his hand reach for another bottle, I darted upstairs and locked myself in of my room.  
I don’t understand why he does this to me. I not a bad daughter, I never was.

“What did I do to deserve this?” I cried to myself.  
I walked up to a mirror slowly and looked at the cut. As I glanced at the slash, more tears formed in my eyes and streamed down my face.  
I stayed in my room with the lights off and cried into my pillow.  
I stayed in my room until my dad left. He usually goes to the bar everyday around 7:00p.m. When I heard the downstairs door slam I knew he was gone. I lifted myself from my bed and walked over to the mirror. The cut was still a little sore, but at lest it stopped bleeding. I fixed my mascara and eyeliner. All the tears messed it up.

My phone started to ring and I tried to make myself sound happy and answered “Hello?”. “Guten Tag, I was trying to reach a beautiful girl named Tara.  
Do know were I can find her?” I smiled at Bill’s cute words.  
He knew what to say to make a girl feel special. On my darkest day, he could brighten my soul.  
I giggled and said “This is the girl!” Bill laughed, I could imagine his sweet smile. “Tara, I wanted to know if you still wanted to hang out with me tonight?” he asked. I smiled “Of course I do.” “Good” he replied happily. “Where are we going?” I asked curiously. He laughed again.

Oh, how I love that adorable laugh of his! “The destination remains a secret till we arrive there! I want it to be a surprise.” he said. “Oh, okay!” I said.  
“I’ll pick you up in 10 minutes?” he asked. “Fine with me.” I responded.  
We ended the conversation on the phone and prepared to see each other.  
I sat outside of my house, on the steps. His car pulled up and I walked over to his car happily. I looked around to see if John was anywhere in sight,  
I didn’t see him.

I opened the door and looked at Bill, “Hi, Bill!” I smiled. “Hello, Tara!” he smiled back. He handed me a bouquet of roses and said “I got you these because they reminded me of how beautiful you are” I couldn’t stop smiling!  
I hugged him tight and whispered “Dankeschön” in his ear.

I sat up and said “I should put these in the house”.  
He nodded and I ran back into the house placing them in a beautiful vase.  
I ran back to the car and jumped in. Bill was wearing skinny jeans and a black shirt.  
His hair was all puffy and spiked. I loved his hair when it’s like that.  
I put on my seat belt and he drove out of my drive way. I have no idea where we were going, but I don’t care. As long as I’m with Bill, I’m happy.

He parked in a deserted parks parking lot. He got out and walked over to my side and helped me out. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me.  
We pulled back and I blushed. He put out his hand, I took it in mine.  
He lead me to the trunk of his car. He pulled out a basket and cover. We walked through the park together, hand in hand.  
We reached a lake and Bill grabbed the blanket and spread it out. He sat down on the blanket and patted on a spot next to him, telling me to sit down. I sat down beside him and smiled. He placed the basket in front of us and opened it. He made sandwiches for the both of us. He handed me a sandwich. We both took a bite of our sandwiches and enjoyed the moment of us alone, eating together. After we were done eating, I heard a shot and then saw beautiful sparks of color explode in the sky. I looked at Bill and he smiled.

“They are having fireworks on the other side of the lake. I figured that we could sit on the other side and watch them alone, together.”  
I smiled, kissed his cheek and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back and I melted into his embrace. I sat back leaning on him and watched fireworks with his arm around me the whole time. The smoke that is left behind from the fireworks was in the shape of a Tokio Hotel symbol and we both pointed at it at the same time.

We smiled at each other in amazement and he leaned in slowly and I inched toward his lips. He cupped my uncut cheek with his left hand, leading my lips to his.

When our lips touched it was like a bolt of electricity shooting through me. It made me feel so alive.  
It felt so good to have my lips crushing against his, moving at a beat of their own.  
As my lips left his I opened my eyes and looked up at him.  
He opened his, they were looking down at me shining with the moon’s light.  
We laid down together and I curled up beside him.  
He put his arm around me with one arm and stroked my hair gently and lovingly with his other. I was so conferrable around him. I didn’t have to act who I’m not to impress him.  
He likes me just the way I am. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled his sweet sent.

He almost smells as beautiful of his soul. I heard his heartbeat against my ear.  
His heartbeat is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.  
I stayed curled beside him listening to the sweet sound of his heartbeat until I was no longer keeping track and slipped into a slumber.


	4. Beautiful Soul

Bill’s POV  
I have a girl with the most beautiful soul I’ve ever seen. Some people don’t believe in true love at first sight, but I found it.  
She is curled up in my side, sound asleep. I stroke her beautiful brown hair with streaks of red. She is so precious to me, yet I met her only one day ago.  
I lifted my arm up from around her and caressed the side of her face.

As my hand made contact with her soft cheek she smiled and curled even closer to me. The moon’s light shined down on her lovely face.  
My eyes widened. There was a big slash on the side of her cheek. It was pink and shiny.  
I must know where she got this from. It’s a very deep cut and it wasn’t on her face yesterday. I looked down at her in wonder.

There is so much about this girl that I don’t know, yet I love her so much.  
When the fireworks were over, I detached myself from her and lifted her up into my arms with the blanket and basket. She was so light and fragile.  
I walked up to my car and unlocked her side. I drooped the basket and blanked on the ground hoping it wouldn’t wake her up.

She looked so beautiful when she slept. She was like a sleeping angel.  
“Tara ist mein schlafend engel” I whispered to myself smiling.  
I placed her softly into the car, trying not to wake her. I garbed the seat belt and pulled it around her clicking it in place. I lightly placed my lips on top of her forehead, and stroked her hair lovingly away from her face.  
She looked so perfect. I shut the door lightly and picked up the blanket and basket and put it back in the trunk. I got in my side, started up the car and drove to Tara’s house. When I pulled up into her driveway, I put the car in park and turned it off. I got out of the car and walked to Tara’s side. I opened the door and garbed her beautiful hand and stroked it saying “Wake up Tara, wake up beautiful.” She opened her brown eyes, looked up at me and smiled. She said “Hello, Bill” in a very tiered voice. I pushed her hair out of her face and planted it behind her ear.

All the sudden she sat up really fast and said “Oh, my god Bill I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”  
she said extremely apologetic. I smiled and said “It’s ok”. I gave her my hand and helped her out. She put her arms around me neck and I put my hands on her hips.  
We both smiled at each other and giggled.

I smiled and whispered “You look so beautiful when you sleep, just seeing you so peaceful is enough forgiveness for me.”  
I lifted my hand to stroke her cheek and she squealed in pain.  
My eyes widened and I said franticly “Tara, are you ok? I’m so sorry!” She had her hand pressed to the wound and said “Yeah, I’ll be ok.”  
I looked down at her asking “Can I come in, I want to make sure you’re ok?” She nodded and we walked through the front door of her house.I shut the door behind me.

She flicked the lights on, brightening up the house. The house is kind of small, looked bigger on the outside. There was empty beer bottles everywhere.  
She walked up creaky steps, I followed her. She made a right, leading to a white door with paint peeling off of it. She opened it up and turned on the lights.  
She turned toward me and said “This is my room”. It was very neat and organized, unlike the rest of the house. It was small, yet didn’t really need a lot of room. I saw a SCREAM Tokio Hotel poster on the back of her door and smiled.  
Tara walked over to a small nightstand next to her bed and opened up a drawer. She pulled out a bandages and Neosporin.

She shut the drawer and walked over to me, leading me to a small mattress with purple and black covers.  
I sat down on the bed, sitting next to her. She placed the bandage and Neosporin on the bed. She grabbed a paper towel and poured some hydrogen peroxide on it.

She was about to clean her cut with it, by herself. I stopped her and smiled.  
She looked back at me in confusion, but forced a smile. I took the towel from her delicate hands and said “Here, let me do it.” She looked up at me with trusting eyes and said “ok”. I gave her my hand if she needed to squeeze it.  
hydrogen peroxide can could cause your wound to sting sometimes. She took it in her warm hands and held it firmly, prepared for the cleaning of her cut. I moved the towel toward her face and gently cleaned it.

She squeezed my hand tight and her eyes were shut closed trying to ease the pain from the stinging. When I was done, I threw out the towel.  
She opened her eyes and watched me squeeze out some of the Neosporin onto the bandage. I slowly stuck it over her cleaned cut.

I leaned in closer to her face and laid a kiss upon the bandage covering her cut flesh. When I moved my face away from hers, I looked in her eyes and smiled.  
She was so beautiful, how couldn’t I smile at her? Tears started to build up in her eyes and slowly stream down her face.  
I was about to move closer to her, trying to understand why she was crying. All the sudden her arms clamped around me and she held me tight. She cried into my chest and whispered “T-Thank y-you.” I put one arm around be and rubbed her back, trying to calm her.

“Shhh, Shhh, it’s ok. Everything‘s ok” I whispered.

I can’t stand to see her like this. It kills me to see her shed a single tear. When her tears decreased, I moved my hand and stroked the back of her head. She lifted her face out of my chest and glanced up at me.  
I caressed her unharmed cheek and asked “Please tell me what made you cry”.  
She melted into my touch and said with her eyes closed  
“I… I just never felt so…so… loved before”

I looked into her dark brown eyes and saw nothing but pain. Just by me taking care of a cut on her cheek made her feel loved?  
She’s never been cared for I such a way that made her feel special.  
What kind of live has she known? I may not know much about Tara, but I do know that she has a lot of untold secrets that can’t be keep untold for ever.  
I put my arms around her and held her protectively. I must find out what is causing her this pain and save her from it. We pulled back from each other and just looked at each other in silence. I wanted to know more about Tara.

I don’t even know how old she is. After a few minutes of just sitting next to each other.  
I turned to her and said “Tara, I would like to get to know you better. Would you mind telling me a little about yourself and we’ll take turns.”  
She looked at me and said “Ok". She thought for a few moments of thinking of what to say first. She said “Well, I just graduated high school. I’m 17 years old.”

I was shocked by this. She did look young but she is very mature for her age.  
I’m only 19, so this isn’t much of an age difference. She said “I love to sing and write stories. I played piano ever sense I was four.”

When she mentioned playing piano she seemed to get sad. She looked up at me and I asked “What‘s wrong, you sounded sad when you mentioned learning piano?” in a curious tone. She took a deep breath and said  
“My grandmother taught me how to play piano. Her and I worked on making a song together and I was to perform it at school for a talent show, but she passed away two days before the show.” She put her head down.  
I lifted her head up lightly with a finger, for her to look at me. I pulled her close to me and said “I’m sorry.” She said “It’s ok” into my shirt. I put my hand over hers, stroking it lovingly. “What would you like to know about me?” I asked. She giggled and said “I already know a lot about you, I mean a lot. In 11th grade I had to do a huge report on a celebrity and I picked to do it on you.”

She turned her face away from me, trying to hide her blush. I cupped the side of her face, it fit perfect in the shape of my hand. It was as if we were made for each other.  
She looked at me, still blushing. I smiled and said “I think it’s cute that you did a report on me.” She smiled back. I laughed and said “Is there anything you don’t know about me that you would like to know?”

She thought for a minute and asked shyly “Why me?  
Why did you choose me to go out with?… Why do you like me?”


	5. Tearful Eyes

Bill’s POV  
She looked away from me, too shy to look at me after asking that question.  
I smiled and lifted her face up with the tips of my fingers. She slowly looked up with her curious eyes. I looked her in the eyes and whispered “I like you because you’re not like any other girl I’ve seen.

I like you because you have the most beautiful soul, you’re an angel.” She blushed.  
She turns the most adorable shade of red when she blushes. “I like you because you’re Tara Smith.”

I pulled her in for a hug and whispered in her ear “I like you because you act yourself around me. You’re not a fake, like most of the girls.”  
She hugged me even tighter. God, I loved this girl!

We laid down in each others embrace. My face was buried in her hair.  
It smelled like fresh strawberries. I never wanted the moment to end, but my phone started to ring and I sat up and answered “Hallo?”  
I heard some noise in the background and then Tom’s voice. “Hey Bill, I was wondering when you were getting back?”  
I looked over at Tara’s alarm clock that Shined 1:52a.m. It was getting late and I needed to get back to the hotel. “Umm, I’ll be back soon” I said. “Ok” said tom.

We both said “bye” at the same time and hung up. I stood up and turned to Tara and said “I should be going, it’s getting late”.  
Tara sat up and grabbed hold of my arm and hung onto me tightly and begged “Please at lest stay until I fall asleep” with pleading eyes.  
How could I resist those beautiful eyes anything? I sat back down and smiled, “Ok”.

She lay down and I lifted the covers and placed them on top of her.  
She snuggled into her feather soft pillow. I swept her hair away from face, reveling her smiling up at me.  
I caressed her face and whispered “close you eyes” and she obeyed. I stroked her hair softly and began to sing

“I hate my life. I can’t sit still for one more single day.  
I’ve been here waiting, for something to live and die for. Let’s run and hide.  
Out of touch, out of time, Just get lost without a sign. As long as you stay by my side,  
In your shadow I can shine… In your shadow I can shine…  
In your shadow I can shine…

Shine… You see my soul. I’m a nightmare, out of control. I’m crashin’ into the dark, Into the room, into the world of our cocoon. You are the sun and  
I am the moon. In your shadow I can shine… In your shadow I can shine…  
In your shadow I can shine…Shine… Don’t let go! Oh, no oh. Don’t you know?  
In your shadow I can shine. In your shadow I can shine. In your shadow I can shine. Shine, shine, shine. In your shadow I can shine, In your shadow I can shine, In your shadow I can shine. Shine, shine, shine.  
In your shadow I can shine”

I looked down at her and watched her stomach rise and fall. She had a smile on her face the whole time I was singing, but I knew she was asleep.  
I sat up from the bed slowly, trying to avoid disturbing her. I bent over and laid a soft kiss upon her forehead.

When my lips made contact with her head, I would have sworn I heard her mumble “I love you” in her sleep. I took one last glance at the girl I’m in love with.  
I whispered “Gute Nacht, mein schlafender Engel“(Good night, my sleeping angel), and walked out of her room shutting the door softly behind me.

Tara’s POV  
My eyes fluttered open and I rolled over looking at the time on my alarm clock.  
It shined 10:04a.m in red bold numbers. I can’t remember when I went t sleep exactly,  
I just remember Bill by my side, singing me to sleep. I’ve never sleep so well before.  
I sat up stretching as I yawned. I jumped out of bed and walked up a mirror. I saw my reflection with a bandage on my cheek. I smiled at the memory of Bill placing it over my cut and kissed it. I walked up to my computer.  
I have 1 new message, I clicked it. It was from Bill!

Dear Tara,

I was just informed that the guy’s and I are taking a flight to New York.  
We’re staying for a bit and performing all around the city. Our flight is taking off at 11:05a.m. I’m sorry I was told this on such a short notice and I couldn’t inform you earlier. Good news is that we’ll be back in about a month!  
I can still talk to you over the phone and email each other; just getting to talk to you makes the happiest guy alive. I’m really going to miss you.  
Take good care of yourself and I’ll be back before you know it!

Sincerely, Bill Kaulitz

Tears started to form in my eyes and flowed down my face. I knew that he would have to leave eventually, but not this soon. I skimmed over the message over and over again with blurry eyes. I nearly jumped right out my seat.  
Bill said that his flight is leaving at 11:05a.m.  
That means I have almost an hour to catch up to him and say goodbye.

I got up from my computer and ran to my phone. I called Shannon to see if she could give me a ride to the airport, she didn’t answer. I started getting ready while waiting for her to call back, she never did. I looked up the number for a cab driver and had one pick me up. I had 25 minutes until Bill’s plane took flight.  
When we pulled up to the airport and there were fans everywhere.

Oh no, I would never catch up to him in time. The told the cab driver to park and stay until I got back. I darted out of the cab and ran into the airport.  
I saw nothing but screaming Tokio Hotel fans. I pushed my way through the crowd until I saw Bill, Tom, Georg and Gustav surrounded by body guards.

I screamed his name, but he didn’t notice me. I ran past the body guards keeping the crowd away from Tokio Hotel. I was so close to Bill when all the sudden someone grabbed my left arm and threw me to the ground, hard.  
I yelled out in pain and I heard Bill scream “No! Don’t hurt her. She’s a friend of ours”.  
I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. He ran over to me and helped me off the ground. I saw camera flashes left and right.

He gathered me in his arms and held me tight. He looked down at me with his beautiful brown eyes and said “Tara, what are you doing here?”.  
I looked up to him with tearful eyes and said “I couldn’t let you leave without saying Goodbye”. He looked at me with love in his eyes and whispered “I’m sorry I have to go, but I’ll be back”. I smiled and said “I know”.

Bill bent down a little bit and whispered in my ear “Would you like a farewell kiss?”.  
I looked him in the eyes and smiled, but before he pressed his lips to mine I stopped him. “What about the paparazzi?” I asked. He put his lips up to mine, leaving just a speck of air between us and whispered “I don’t care about the paparazzi, I care about you”.

With that he passionately kissed me in front of everyone.  
I closed my eyes and my lips melted against his. He put his arms around me, pulling me closer until this wasn’t an inch between us. All I heard were “awwww’s” coming from the crowd of fangirls and clicks from the cameras. Fangirls are always like “Oh my god, when Bill get’s a girlfriend I’m going to be so mad”. When in the end they are happy for him. We both pulled away for air and smiled into each others eyes. I’m in love with Bill Kaulitz!

Bill reached into his pocket and placed a half heart on a chain and closed my hand around it. He unzipped his jacket at the top and showed another half heart on a chain that was around his neck. I took my half heart and connected it to his making the heart a whole. We smiled at each other and he hugged me tight. I inhaled his sent, wanted to savor it forever. He pulled away and said with sad eyes “I have to go…” I nodded and said “I’ll call you”.

We backed away from each other with our eyes locked, not wanting to let go. Bill called over a body guard and whispered something into his ear. The body guard darted over to me and said “Kaulitz wants me to make sure you make it out safely” I nodded and we walked toward the exit. I turned around and saw my last glance of Bill making his way to Tokio Hotel’s jet. I climbed into the cab and told him to take me back home. I put the chained half heart around my neck. I sighed, wiping away smeared make-up from my tearful eyes. I’m going to miss him…


	6. My Love, My Tara

Tara’s POV  
It has now been a week sense Bill left for New York. I have three weeks left until he comes back. I’ve been extremely lonely ever sense he left. I received a e-mail from him a few minutes ago that said

Hey Tara,  
I was just wondering how you were doing and wanted to make sure everything was ok. The city is awesome! I always loved cities and I think I’m putting New York City in my book of favorite cities. Despite how amazing the city is, it doesn’t compare to the time I’ve spent with you. Only three weeks left! By the way Tom and the G’s say Hello!  
I really miss you Tara, and I can’t wait to see you again.

-Bill Kaulitz

I really miss him too. I miss his smile, his laugh, his voice and especially his embrace.  
I quickly grabbed the mouse and clicked reply. I typed up a message and read it over and over to make sure it sounded perfect.  
I clicked send when all the sudden my phone started to ring. I stood up from my purple chair and walked over to my night stand picking up my phone.  
I flipped it open and said “Hello?”.  
“Hey Tara!?! Get on the Tokio Hotel fanpage website right now!” Shannon said in a panicked voice.  
I darted to the purple chair and got on my computer. I clicked on the Tokio Hotel fan website and I saw a picture of Bill and I kissing in the airport!

There was a caption underneath it that said “Bill’s new girlfriend?”  
and right next to it said story on Access Hollywood June 24th, 8:30p.m.

My jaw dropped. It’s only been a week and it’s all over the web and TV.  
Shannon said “What are you going to do?”. Right before I could respond, someone was beeping in on the other line. I took my phone away from my ear so I could see who it was… It was John.  
“Shit!” I said to myself. Shannon heard me and said “What?”. I stood up and said “John is beeping in”. There was small silence,

then Shannon said “don’t answer it, just text him back”  
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I exhaled with an “Ok, I’ll call you back”.  
I clicked end call, walking over to my bed and sat down. Right before I could text John I received a text from him.

John: Y don’t you answer ur cell wen I call?

I clicked reply and sent  
Me: I’m sorry, my cell was on vibrate. Wat do u want?

Oh, god… I hope it has nothing to do with me and Bill. It’s now 8:50p.m, they surly already talked about the pictures on Access Hollywood.  
I grabbed the remote control to my tv and turned it on. The channel for Access Hollywood was already on. The first thing I saw when I turned on the tv was a picture of Bill handing me the half heart on a chain.

The female narrator said “What we can see here is Bill Kaulitz (lead singer from German pop-rock band Tokio Hotel) is handing a girl that looks around 17 years of age,  
a half of a heart on a chain. This must be Kaulitz’s new girlfriend.  
Question is how long has this relationship between them been going on and is this relationship a serious one. From what we hear is that Bill Kaulitz searches for his “True love” and isn’t a “one night true love kind of guy”. Here is a clip from an interview with Tokio Hotel, not too long ago about relationships.”

It was a video of Tom to the left of Bill and Bill said into the microphone  
(URL to actual interview with bill is in the comments!!!)

“For me, I take this whole thing more serious then Tom and for me it’s ummm.  
I didn’t have a relationship for the last 5 years. So I really search for the true love.  
And I believe. It’s a bit old fashion but I believe in love at first sight.” The clip was ended. It went back to showing multiple pictures of Bill and I kissing and hugging.

“I really hope John didn’t see this” I said to myself, worriedly. My phone vibrated and I looked down at my phone, almost afraid to read the text from John.  
I looked down and read

John: don’t play dumb bitch. I saw you on access Hollywood tonight.  
It was Bill Kaulitz u wer mak’n out wit that night. I don’t no how u got wit him,  
but I swear if I see u wit him again. Horrible things will happen 2 ur mister faggoty ass true love.

My eyes grew wide. I don’t want anything to happen to Bill. I… I love him and would never want him to get hurt because of me. I would never be able to forgive myself.  
I have to think of something to tell John, then I got a pretty good idea.  
I typed rapidly my lie to trick John into believing that Bill isn’t coming back for a long time.

Me: Bill left a/ he’s not coming bak 4 a long time. He gave me that half heart on a chain b/c he wanted to give me something 2 remember him by.

I clicked send and hoped and prayed that he would buy it. I got a text back from his two minutes latter that said

John: He better hav left

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw he believed me. Now I have one less thing to worry about. Just as I was about to out my phone on the charger my phone vibrated.  
Bill was calling me! I smiled and answered “Hello Bill!”. “Hello Tara!” Bill said.  
“How are you?” we both said at the same time. We laughed at how we said the same thing at the same time. Bill asked again “How are you?” I said “I’m good”.  
Right before I could ask the same Bill asked “Did you happen to see Access Hollywood tonight?” I knew this was going to come up. I answered “Yeah…”  
there was a bit of a silence until Bill said sternly “Tara, I want you to be careful when you go out places. Make sure not alone and make sure no one it following you.

There are some crazy people out there and crazy fans. I don’t want to scare you but I want you to be aware of the fact that fans can get jealous. I just want to make sure you stay safe, Tara. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if anything were to happen to you and I wasn’t there to stop it.”  
I smiled and said “Ok, Bill you have nothing to worry about. I’ll be safe, I promise”.

Bill said “Ok, good”. I heard some noise in the background and then Tom yelling something. I heard a “Ja” from Bill and he said sadly “I have to go, I’m sorry we couldn’t talk longer.” “It’s ok” I replied.  
We said good-bye’s and I flipped my phone shut, plugging it into the charger. I was going to call Shannon back, but it’s late and I know she’s in bed by now. I’ll call her sometime tomorrow, I thought to myself.

I got in my pajamas and slipped into bed. I shut my eyes,  
not wanted to open them until Bill was by my side again.

Bill’s POV

I sat down on a brown couch next to Tom. Tom began to play Monsoon on his guitar and I stared into space gazing at the right corner of the roof daydreaming about Tara.  
I saw her beautiful brown hair with red streaks flowing with the wind. “Bill, you start singing now… Bill!” Tom yelled impatiently. Her brown eyes shining at me.  
Her gloss cover pink lips that taste like…

Tom’s fingers were snapping repeatedly in front of my face. I shook my head blinking, escaping my daydreaming. I turned to Tom and whispered “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” I put my head down, staring at my hands.  
Tom nodded and said “You love her, don’t you?”  
My twin can read what’s on my mind in a single glance. It’s amazing how him and I alike can read what’s on each others minds in an instant.

I smiled at the thought of Tara. I nodded and said “Yes, I love Tara.” I looked up at my big brother and whispered “Tomi, I really, really love her. She is like no other I’ve met before.  
I don’t know, there is just something about her that just makes me think about her all the time.” Tom smiled at me and said “I can tell Bill, you’ve been extremely distracted lately. Do you think she’s the true love and soul mate you’ve always been babbling away about in interviews all this time?”  
My smiled grew wider and I said “I really think she is Tom, ever sense I last saw her at the air port I feel like a part of me is missing. Like a part of my soul was left with her in the air port. As if, until I’m with her again I get that piece of my soul back, along with hers as well.” Georg and Gustav walked through the door as I finished my last sentence. Georg and

Gustav sat across from me and Tom, on the other side of the coffee table.  
Georg said “Sounds like Bill is in love”. Gustav sat up and gave me a high five and said “Proud of yah dude”. They all smiled at me and Tom said “We’re all proud”.  
I sat up straight and said with excitement “What do you guys think of Tara?”  
Georg and Tom said “She’s gorgeous” at the same time. Gustav nodded in agreement and said “She’s funny too”.

Tom added “Bill, as long as your happy with her, we’re happy”. I smiled “What would I do without you guys?” They all smirked, Georg said “Doesn’t matter dude, we’re here”. I was surrounded by my band mates that love and care for me.  
I’m happy, the only thing missing is my love, my Tara.


	7. Gasping For Air

Tara’s POV

My eyes were wide and I was gasping for air. I couldn’t breath, darkness was consuming me. I was extremely cold, I felt goose bumps craw upon my arms.  
I turned left and right, running farther and farther into nothing but darkness.  
I felt tears drip down my face and heard the haunting echo of the tears plummet to the ground. I glanced downward and saw the reflection of myself, the floor was a mirror.  
In the reflection I saw a glowing luminous light in a far distance. I looked toward it and saw a door cracked open with the light shining through the cracked open space.

I slowly walked toward it afraid to find out what was on the opposite side.  
I don’t understand where I am or why I’m here. I felt empty inside, as if something very sacred to me had been torn from my soul.

I grabbed my upper left arm with great strength with my right hand, digging my nails underneath my skin. I couldn’t feel anything. I felt no pain at all.  
I inched closer and closer toward the door, unsure of the want to see what’s on the other side. My heart was pounding at the speed of light.  
I reached out my shaking hand and pressed the tips of my fingers to the door.  
As my fingers made contact with the door, it felt as though it instantly burnt  
through my skin.

I gasped and swung my hand away from the door. It burnt me, but yet I don’t feel a throbbing pain from the burn. I really wanted to know what was on the other side,  
it was killing me to know. I reached for the door knob and it was as cold as ice, it felt weird touching the skin that just felt like it was on fire. I slowly pushed the door open and saw Bill.  
He had his head in his hands with him elbows on his knees. He was sobbing uncontrollably into him palms. He began to shake and the cries became silent.

He whisper “Tara, no…” My eyes widened at the sound of my name coming from  
his tear stained lips. He moved his hands up to his hair and intertwined his hair  
between his fingers and dinged his nails into his head,  
choking out in a sob “I LOVE YOU!”.  
I ran to him wanting to clamp my arms around him, but when I did my arms went through him like he was ghost. His figure slowly faded away as if he were never really there.

I dropped to my knees and choked out “Bill, Komm Zurück!!!”.  
I curled up on the floor burring my face into my arms and cried, it felt like  
I was crying forever. Noting makes any sense to me, why was Bill crying and telling me to come back to him. I don’t understand, what is happening.  
I blinked away the tears and then everything went black.

I screamed, I couldn’t see anything. All the sudden I saw a flash of light shimmered over a table with a… gun? I began to shake. Why was there a gun?  
Then bill’s cries of my name filled the room. I looked in every direction,  
but I didn’t see him. I screamed his name repeatedly, but he didn’t hear me.  
When the cries stopped, I heard nothing. Right before I could call his name again,  
I heard him whisper “Tara…” almost as quiet as complete silence.

My heart crumbled at the sound of my name come from his voice. He sounded broken like a shattered mirror. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t make a sound. Light shined over the gun in a flash and I saw a hand with black nail polish grab the gun quickly. Black nails,  
Oh my god! That’s bill’s hand!!! Lights flashed off and I screamed along with a BANG!

I screamed, sitting up straight in my bed. I was breathing heavy and sweaty.  
I hugged my knees and cried into my arms, with my hair in my face.  
I didn’t understand what happened in my dream I just remember bill crying  
and calling my name. I couldn’t get the image of bill crying out of my mind.  
I cried even louder. My head was pounding, It hurt really bad.

I whipped my tears away with my hand and walked to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and gabbed the Tylenol. I took gulped two of them down with a big sip of water. I jumped in the shower and got dressed. I don’t know what I’m going to do today.  
I know Bill told me to not go out alone, but I’ll have my phone on me. I’m definitely not staying inside all day. I finished doing my hair and make-up and grabbed my bag, running out my bedroom door.

I shut it softy behind me and slowly walked down the stairs. I tried to be as quiet as can be. I don’t want to see my father. I hate him… Ok, I know I could never hate him because somewhere deep down in my heart there’s a place for him. I just dislike him with a burning passion. I walked down the steps cautiously and made my way into the kitchen.  
I placed my bag down in a chair and walked over to the refrigerator.  
I opened it up and saw beer, beer, and no surprise here, more beer.  
I slammed the door to the refrigerator, annoyed. I opened the freezer and saw hot pockets.

Oh god, I want to barf. They’re like toaster strudel filled with nasty meat. This kind had cheese, chicken and artichoke. I opened it up and placed it on a glass plate and placed  
it in the microwave. I looked around and saw no sign of my dad. I looked outside the window and didn’t see his truck. I walked back to the microwave and it still had 1 minute and 15 seconds left. I stood in front of it watching the green glowing numbers count down. I heard my dads truck pull up.

He walked in and said “Hello”. I just turned to him and said a quiet “Hey”.  
He placed a pack of bud light next to the refrigerator. “Oh great more beer, just what we needed” I thought to myself. The microwave beeped, the food was ready.  
I opened it up and grabbed the plate. I took the hot pocket and placed it in the small paper carrier it comes with. I turned around, walking to the sink about to put the plate in  
it when I bumped into my dad. “Oh shit!" I whispered.

I dropped the plate at our feet and it shattered into pieces. We both looked down at the mess and I slowly looked up, afraid to see the look on my dads face.  
He yelled “What the hell!” and he swung his fist and me.  
I screamed, ducked and dodged away from him. I grabbed my bag  
and put it on my shoulder. I had my hot pocked in my other hand.  
I was prepared to take a run for it. I looked back at him and he charged at me,  
screaming “Look at what you did, you bitch!”.

My eyes grew wide and I ran toward the door. I pulled it open and ran out as fast as I could, not even closing it behind me. I ran down three blocks and stopped.  
I had tears flowing down my face, I was so scared. I didn’t think I would get out of that one, without having at least one scar. I whipped my tears from my face,  
for the second time today. I pulled out a small pocket mirror and fixed my make-up.  
I put it away and began to nibble on my hot pocket. I lost my appetite, but I had to eat.  
I had no money with me so this is all I’ve got. I figured that I’d knock up for Shannon to see if she’d want to hang out.

She lived one block away from where I was. I walked up to her door and rang the door bell. Her mom answered the door. She was very tall and was wearing a light blue sundress. She had wavy blond hair and blue eyes.  
I smiled and asked “Is Shannon here?” and she said “No sorry, she went to work today.  
I think she has break around this time anyway.”. I smiled and said “Ok, thank you!”

She shut the door and I walked across the street, I decided to go to the mall to meet her on her break. As I made it to the mall I finished up the last of my hot pocket,  
tossing paper into a nearby trash can. I walked around to the back entrance because I needed to be at the upper level. As I made my way around the corner of the mall,  
I saw a group of four teens. They were all boys and one looked familiar. I’ll just ignore them and I‘ll be fine, so I thought.


	8. I Was Trapped!

Tara’s POV

I heard footsteps behind me and I swung around the boys were all together staring dead at me. I was frozen, I didn’t know what to expect.  
One guy stepped forward a little. Wait I know him, his name is Frank.  
He’s one of Johns best friends, this can’t be good. He circled me and winked at me.  
My feet were glued to the ground, I couldn’t budge.

He finally broke the silence “I hear you dumped my boy John and now your dating that Kaulitz chick from that gay ass band Tokio Hotel.”  
I swallowed hard and said with a shaken voice “So, what of it?”  
He gave me an evil smirk, nod his head to me and the guys behind him surrounded me.  
I couldn’t breath, what where they going to do to me? He walked closer and closer to me. I keep backing up until I my back hit the side of the mall, I was trapped!  
If I tried to make a run for it, I wouldn’t get past them without a fight.

Frank locked his eyes with me and said “You really hurt my boy John. You hurt his reputation and made him look like a loser”. I look a deep breath.  
He stepped even closer to me. Are faces were so close. He whispered in my ear,  
“You hurt my boy and made him look bad. We hurt you and make you look bad”.  
I started to shake. He grabbed my arm hard and threw me to the ground.  
I cried out in fear. I opened my eyes and looked up. Frank crouched down to  
my ear and whispered “don’t be afraid, be terrified”.

I started breathing heavy and I felt the guys holding down my feet and arms.  
I tried to squirming out of there hold but I wasn’t going anywhere. I screamed for help,  
but there was no one around. This side of the parking lot is always empty except for the cars of the people who work at the mall. “Let me go!” I cried, squirming and jerking against the gangs hold. Frank laughed “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Now, this is for hurting my boy!” he yelled, kicking me in the stomach full force.  
I cried out in agonizing pain. He ripped me from the other guys hold with my left arm and threw me against the wall. They all started kicking and punching me everywhere.  
Tears flooded down my face as I sobbed and screamed. I curled up against the wall, on the ground hugging my knees to my stomach.

I heard Frank scream “And this is for making him look bad, you bitch!”.  
I hugged my knees tighter and forced my eyes closed, bracing myself for the next attack. He slammed his foot into my back, multiple times and with each time he kicked, I screamed in pain. I sobbed into my legs, pulled to my stomach. I hear a knife click open and I cried even louder. I’m going to die! No this can’t be happening!

Frank got on top of me and put a knife to me and whispered “And this is for- “GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!” Shannon yelled. She ran to the boys kicking them in the balls and to the ground. She wasn’t afraid of anything, she’s a black belt. The knife sliced through my skin on my right arm, leaving a line of blood. Shannon kicked Frank until he was off of me. He dropped the knife and took off, along with the rest of the boys.

“Oh my god!” Shannon gasped and she ran beside me. I cried even harder now.  
I was in so much pain, everything was throbbing. The pain was unbearable.  
I looked down at my arm and saw lots of red blood dripping down my arm. At  
the very sight of it, everything went black.

Shannon’s POV

I walked out of the back entrance of the mall, I was on my beak. I hear screaming and I turned to the source of it. Oh my god! That’s Tara! I ran to her, she was being attacked. I’m a black belt, so I was prepared to kick some ass. I ran over to three boys.  
I kicked one in the balls, punched one in face while swinging my leg back into the other ones crotch.

I turned to Frank and kicked him repeatedly until her was off of Tara. When he fell of off her the knife sliced her arm. Blood rolled down her arm, dripping to the concrete.  
I heard Tara screaming in pain, the knife drop to the ground and the boys running away.  
I dropped to my knees, beside Tara. She passed out at the sight of her own blood.

I took an extra cami I had out my bag and quickly tied it around her arm dripping with blood. I held her close to me and I started to cry. This can’t be happening! She’s my best friend and I could have saved her from this if I just walked fast to the exit.  
I quickly got out my cell phone and called an ambulance. I heard the ambulance’s siren and saw the red lights flashing. They all got out of the vehicle and lifted Tara onto the stretcher.

I started to cry, it was the worst thing in the world to see my best friend being lifted onto a stretcher and taken to a hospital. I got in the back of the car and sat down, watching over Tara. I text Tara’s mom and my mom. They both said they would be there soon. When we arrived I saw my mom. She ran to me and pulled me into her arm kissing my forehead. She looked at me, making sure I was unharmed and we both followed the nurses pushing Tara to the emergency room.

They wouldn’t let us go inside so me and my mom sat in blue chairs outside of the room, while doctor examined her. I was so scared for Tara. Her mom was nowhere in sight.  
This was all to much, I started to cry again and my mom held me. About five minutes later I was Tara’s mom run to us and Tara‘s father walk fast, catching up with her.  
My mother and I both stood up and hugged her. She asked frantically “How is she?”.  
Just before we could answer the doctor stepped out of the room and said that we could go inside.

I ran to my friends side and looked at her. All her bruises and wounds were now all visible. She had bruises up and down her legs and arms. Tara’s father held his wife as she cried. I hated that man so much. I know all the pain he’s caused Tara all these years. The asshole can go burn in hell because Tara and I both know the demon he truly is.  
We all ran to the Tara’s side as we saw her dark brown eyes flicker open.

Tara’s POV

I saw four people watching over me, I couldn’t make out there faces.  
My vision is all blurry. Am I dead? I thought to myself. I felt pain everywhere.  
My arms, legs, head, stomach and back. My right arm stings and my left arm is throbbing in agonizing pain. I tried to make out the faces again, then I heard my mom’s voice  
“How are you feeling, honey?”. Did she just called me Honey? I must be dead.

My vision came back and I saw Shannon, her mom, my mom and… my dad?  
I looked at everyone in confusion and asked “How did I get here?” My mom grabbed my hand and said “Shannon called an ambulance and had them rush you to the hospital.  
I looked over at Shannon and smiled saying “Thank you”.

I groaned in pain and my mom asked “What hurts?” I sighed and responded  
“My left arm is killing me and my right arm stings really bad.” I looked down at my left arm and saw a huge bandage over my arm with red bloodstains all over it.  
My eyes filled up with tears as I remembered everything that happened.  
My mom ran over and let me cry in her arms. My mom rubbed my back and whispered “Everything will be ok”. I just let everything out.

I heard Shannon and her mom leave the room, for me to be alone with my parents. My mom looked at me in the eyes and asked “How did this happen?” Right before I could answer a policemen walked into the room and said “Tara Smith, I’d like to ask you some questions about what happened outside of the back entrance to the Ocean County Mall.”


	9. Peaceful Dreams

Tara’s POV  
I looked up and saw a tall policemen pushing my parents aside. He sat down in a chair beside my bed, pulling out a note pad and pen. I could tell this was only the beginning of a long day. Before I could say anything he said “Well I don’t have all day, young lady. I have business to attend to.” I felt like punching him in the face.

How dare he speak to me in such a way. Like today wasn’t bad enough,  
now I have to take this shit from a cop.  
I rolled my eyes and laid back in my bed, sighing. I took a deep breath and said

“I was on my way to the mall.” “the Ocean County Mall” he stated. I didn’t even get to finish one sentence and he’s already cutting me off. “Yes, I was on my way to the  
Ocean County Mall” I mocked. I continued “When I made my way around the side  
of the mall there was a group of five guys. Four of them I saw once or twice before at school but one I knew pretty well.”

“Could you describe him for me?” he asked. “His name is Frank Connors and he  
went to my school. He’s best friends with my ex-boyfriend and he…  
he said that I hurt my ex-boyfriend John. hurt his reputation and made him look like a loser.”

I paused. I began to tear up at the memory of the horrifying scene. As I felt tears slither down my face I went on “He threw me to the ground and had the others hold me to the ground. I tried to break away, but I couldn’t.”  
I swallowed, “He kicked me in to stomach and… and said it was for hurting  
J-John. H-H-He took me away from t-the others and b-beat m-me. He said it  
was for making John look bad! I chocked out sobbing.

The policeman looked at me with pity and said “If you need some time until you can continue you may take all the time you need”. I nodded. After I got my breathing calmed down I said “H-He got on t-top of m-me and I heard a k-k-knife click o-open.  
That’s when Shannon came” I stopped and waited until he was done writing down all the information and said “When she kicked him off of me, the knife slit my arm” I said pointing to the slash on my arm, that was covered with a pad.

You could see the dried blood that was seeping through. “That’s all I remember and then I woke up here laying in this bed”. He jotted down the rest and stood, slipping then pen and notepad in his pocket. He said “Thanks for your cooperation. That is all I need from you. I wish you the best of luck.” As he walked out the door I saw a nurse walk in.

She said something to my parents and they both walked out, leaving us alone. I sat up and she asked “Feeling any better?”. I said “Not really, no”. She helped me up and had me reach for my toes. She applied presser in certain areas of my back and sides, to check for any damage. There were bruises everywhere and it hurt like hell.  
She sat me down and carefully took off the pad on my arm, revealing an ugly gash left from the knife. I gasped at the sight of it. She pulled out this cleaner and cream for it.

When she started to clean it, I squealed in pain. It stung like a bitch. After she was done she put the cream on a new pad and stuck it to my cut. She took me into this room to give me x-rays because I was complaining about a pain in my left arm. When we were done she took me into a room and showed me the photos from the x-ray. The results showed that my left arm was not broken.

The nurse said I was lucky and got away with a very bad strain. She gave me a black brace and slid my arm carefully into it and pulled a strap, rapping it around my arm to the other side. She told me to keep it on for about two and a half weeks.

I was allowed to go home, that’s the last place I wanted to be. Just because I got beat up really bad at the mall, didn’t mean I forgot about what happened earlier today with my dad. I walked out of the x-ray results room and saw Shannon waiting for me.  
She got up and ran to me in a flash. “Do you want to spend the night at my place?” she asked.

I nodded, as we walked into the lobby. I saw my parents talking, but they stopped when I got closer to them. What were they hiding? My mom walked toward me and hugged me.  
I put my arms around her slowly, I wasn’t use to all this attention. She kissed my forehead and said “I wish I could stay home tonight with you, but I have work.” I nodded and asked “Can I spend the night at Shannons’s house?”

She thought for a minute and said yes. Shannon’s mom drove me to my house to pick up my stuff and we went back to her house.  
Shannon carried all my bags in for me, she is such a good friend. We walked through her hallway leaving us at the bottom of the stairs. She told me to stay and that she would come back, after putting my bags in her room. She came back down when her mom asked if we wanted anything to eat. I wasn’t hungry, food is the last thing that would be on my mine right now. Shannon’s eyes lit up and she said with excitement “Lets have macaroni and cheese! I‘ll make it!”.

I swear she can be seven-teen one minute and six the next. I walked over to the kitchen and sat in a chair. I watched her pore a box or macaroni into a pot of boiling water.  
I picked at my peeling nail polish on my nails as I waited for her to finish making the food. She placed two plates of hot macaroni in front of me, I looked up and she smiled.  
“Are you going to eat any?” she asked. I sat up grabbing the plate walking towards the stairs and said “Maybe latter”.

We walked up to her bedroom and she cleared off her bed and told me to sit.  
“I’m going to sleep on the floor, you need the bed more than me”.  
She gathered covers and spread them over on the floor making a spot for herself to sleep. I sat down in the bed with the plate of macaroni in front of me. I poked it around with my fork. I’m sort of hungry, I thought to myself.

I stabbed a bunch of macaroni onto the fork and shoved it into my mouth. I chewed silently and swallowed. The noodles were nice and soft, the cheese was creamy and sort of sweet. It was really good, Shannon need’s to give me this recipe! We ate silently together until Shannon broke the silence.

“Tara, what happened today?” she asked. I looked up from my food and said  
“You where there, you saw.” Shannon sighed and said “Tara that’s not what I meant. I know when something’s wrong, I’ve known you like forever and I can tell. What happened with you and your father today?” I nearly dropped my fork in my plate of macaroni.  
She reads me like a book… How did she know? She sat up from The Lion King blanket spread across the floor and sat beside me.

She pulled me into a hug and whispered “You can tell me anything Tara, that’s what friends are for. You know that right?” I nodded slowly.  
I didn’t know where to start, it just happened so fast.

I opened my mouth slowly and said “I accidentally dropped a glass plate  
on the floor and it shattered. He… tried to punch me, but he missed. He took after me as I ran to the door and escaped. I ran to your house to see if you were home. Your mom answered and said you were at work and then I walked to the mall.”

She looked at me with eyes full of tears and sorrow. She hugged me tight and said  
“How can you live like this? I told you once and I’ll tell you again, you can stay here when ever you want.” I hugged her back and said “I don’t know if I can do anything about it.  
I just know that something’s up with my parents. When ever they talk alone together,  
they yell. When I walk near them they stop and act like it’s a normal conversation.”

Shannon said “Oh… Are you ever tell Bill about all of this? I mean he is your boyfriend, right?” I don’t know if I would ever want Bill to hear about this. I just want both of us to be happy together and not have to worry about anything. I looked at her and said  
“No, I can’t. I can’t tell him, I don’t want him to have to deal with it too.  
I just don’t want him to worry and for us to just be happy.”

Shannon’s POV  
I could tell she hated talking about this subject. I mean if I were her I would tell Bill about this, no matter what. I know that I don’t completely understand because I’m not in her shoes. I just nodded and respected what she had to say. I wanted to get her mind off of the pain. She’s my best friend, I want her to be happy.

I jumped up and ran to my DVD collection and got all of her favorites. I ran back and asked “What movie do you want to watch?” She was already laying down,  
but not asleep yet. She brushed her hair away from her face and said  
“Sorry Shannon but I think I just want to go to bed. I had a long day and I don’t feel so good. I’m in a lot of pain.”

I looked down at her with pity, she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve any of this.  
She is such a good person and she’s known nothing but a horrible life full of pain and fear. I placed the movies down on a table and said “Oh, well I’m kind of tried too. I think I’m going to hit the sack as well.” I smiled at her and gave her a hug goodnight.

I laid down and couldn’t sleep for what seemed like forever, yet it was only forty-five minutes. I couldn’t sleep, my best friend is in so much pain and there is nothing I can do about it. I tried closing my eyes again and then I heard a whisper.  
My eyes shot open and I heard it again. It was Tara, she was talking in  
her sleep. “Bill…” she whispered in her pillow and snuggled with the pink and white spotted covers.

I smiled, my friend wasn’t lying when she always talked about being in love with Bill kaulitz. Ever sense middle school, Bill is everything she’d talk about. Now she really does date him, like in her dreams and she has him to love. I was so happy for her,  
I just hope Bill is the guy that he makes himself out to be and not just some loser rock star.

I finally drifted off to sleep, hoping that my dreams would be as peaceful as Tara’s. Such an awful day can be reworded with peaceful dreams while you sleep. Through out the night, letting go of all the pain.


	10. Unforgoten Memories

7 year old Tara’s POV  
Flash back/dream  
I plopped own on my multi-color rug, on the floor of my room. I set up my doll house and then ran to my closet to grab more toys, when I heard thunder.

It scared me, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I grabbed the purple bag  
full of all sorts of toys and ran back to the doll house. I flipped the bag upside down, dumping the toys all over the floor. I placed the small fairies in the children’s bed  
room of the house. I placed the pink one in a chair, the blue one sitting down and the purple one in the bed. I smiled, happy the way I set up my dolls.

As picked up a tiny toy kitten, I saw a flash of lightning glow from out my window.  
I dropped the tiny toy kitten and ran to my bed, searching for my best friend.  
I’m scared of lightning and I need her for comfort! Her name is Star, she’s a light brown stuffed animal bunny with floppy ears. Her blue eyes twinkled like stares in the night sky.  
I threw my covers around, trying to find her. She wasn’t here.

My eyes grew wide, “Star!” I cried. How could I lose my best friend!  
I began to panic and looked everywhere for her. Still no sigh of Star.  
I ran to my door, leading to the hallway. “Maybe she’s downstairs” I whispered to myself, hopefully.

As I reached for the door knob I heard a huge bang from more thunder.  
I jumped back. I reached for the door knob again and flung the door open,  
running down the wooden stairs in a flash. My eyes scanned the living room for Star.  
I glanced over to the couch and I saw her sitting down, where I left her earlier.  
How could I have forgotten about watching TV with her after supper. I ran to the couch, taking her in my arms.

I kissed her forehead and whispered to her “I’ll never forget you again”. I looked up and saw my father staring me down. My arms dropped to my sides, holding Star by her arm. “What are you doing awake?” he slurred. My grasp of Stars arm grew stronger. I couldn’t speak, I’ve never seen father so angry at me before. “Tara, what are you doing!”  
he screamed. I flinched at the tone of his voice.

I swallowed and said slowly “I-I forgot to take Star upstairs with me to bed.” He didn’t speak, his eyes only glared at me. Those eyes that frighten me so.  
I looked away from his eyes and saw a bottle in his hand. Oh no, my daddy is drinking again. “Well! Get your ass upstairs!” he yelled. I darted up the stairs, nearly tripping on my way up. I ran in my room, not shutting my door. I knew he would come up here any second to see If I had toys out. He would discover that I wasn’t sleeping, I was really playing with my dolls.

I placed Star on my bed and gathered my toys up into my arms as fast as I could, dumping them into the purple bag. I threw the bag in my closet. I hear foot steeps, coming from my dad walking up the stairs. I still had to put away my doll house! I didn’t have enough time to fold it up at and place it against the wall. I ran to my beside about to get in when my he showed up in the door way.

“You think your so clever, don’t yah!” he said. I tuned to him, with fear written all over my face. He walked toward me and I was frozen. He got closer and closer and I still couldn’t budge. He grabbed my left arm with a death grip and threw me against the wall. I screamed out in pain. He’s my father, why is he doing this? I though to myself as he reached for me. He lifted me up and tossed me onto my bed.

I felt something sharp slice my back, breaking the skin. I felt blood dip down my back. The bedpost cut me! I screamed over and over, but it wasn’t helping. He tried to take off my princess nightgown as I fought against his hold. I didn’t want to hurt him, he’s my father. But I have no choice now, I though as I kicked him in the crotch.

He lost his hold of me and I grabbed Star and we made a run for it. When I made my way to the bottom of the stairs I heard him chasing after me. There is no place to hide in this house I thought. Then I got the idea to run out the door. I saw the family dog standing very close to the door. If I open the door, he’ll run away. Then I saw my dad coming and I reached for the door opening it about to run. The dog ran through my legs as I screamed “NO!”. Oh no! What have I done? I was afraid to see my fathers face.

I looked up and he ran to the door slamming it and screamed with fury “Look at what you did, you little bitch!” He charged at me and pushed me to the ground. My grip on Star loosened when my back slammed against the hard wooden floor. My eyes squeezed shut as I cried in agony. He ripped Star from my arms and walked over to the fire place…  
Oh no! I tried to get up but it hurt too much.

I screamed “No, don’t do it!” repeatedly trying to stop him, but it was too late. He opened it up and threw her in the fire. My jaw dropped as I saw Stars body being consumed by flames. I cried even louder. My best friend is gone forever, because of me! He kicked me in the side shouting “Shut up!” and I screamed absorbing the kick.

I heard moms car pull up out front. My eyes shot open and cried even louder. All the sudden my father grabbed me, forcing me to stand up and pushed me toward the stairs yelling “If you ever tell your mother about this, I will fucking kill you!”  
I ran up the steppes as fast as my short legs would go. I ran to my room,  
slamming my door behind me. I jumped in my bed and cried the whole night.

Tara’s POV

I rubbed my eyes feeling the tears that I cried in my sleep. As my hand made contact with the tears, I remembered what I dreamt about. One of the most horrible unforgotten memories of my father. That night he tried to rape me. I took my face in my palms and cried silently. How he do such a thing?

I was an innocent seven year old. How could you be so cold to try to rape your own daughter. I still have the huge scar I got on my back from that night. If my mother hadn’t shown up that night, I don’t know if I’d still be here.  
I whipped my tears, glancing up at calendar. Oh my god! Bill’s coming back today!  
I almost jumped right out of my bed. All the hurt and pain disappeared. I walked over to my desk as my phone went off. I picked it at looked down at it. It was a text from Bill!

Bill: I’m getting on the plane leaving New York in 20 minutes. The plane will land at 12:30. I can’t wait to see you!<3

My face lit up and I felt my lips form a smile. I’ve waiting for what seems a life time for him to return. I guess it always feels like that when your in love. I clicked the reply button and sent

Me: I’ll be waiting for you! _

I got in the shower really fast, blow-dried my hair and straightened it, just for Bill!  
I put on nicest clothes I could find, for Bill’s arrival. I applied some eye make-up and some skittles chap-stick. I slipped it in my bag, just in case I needed it later. I walked out of my room quietly. I looked over to my parents room and saw the door shut.

As long as my fathers I there and I’m out here away from him, I’m safe. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket as I made my way to the bottom of the steps. I flipped it open and its was another text.

Bill: Bring a bathing suit with you

I looked down at the text puzzled. Why a bathing suit? I wondered.

Me: Kk

I responded, still unsure of why I was to bring a bathing suit. I couldn’t find a one piece, damn it! I just know Tom will embarrass me or something. It’s Bill’s twin for gods sake.  
The only bathing suit found was a black and white bikini… Great!

I shoved it in my bad and ran out the door. I got to the bus stop right on time.  
I handed the driver money and took a seat. I couldn’t wait to see Bill again.  
I feel like I’m going to explode with excitement any moment. When the bus made it’s way near the airport, I flipped open my phone for the time. Ugh, It’s 12:54!

I don’t want to be late. I stepped of the bus and jogged to the entrance. It was full of fans again! Then I saw the body-guard from last time. We spotted each other at the same exact time. He walked over to me and said “Follow me, I’ll take you to them”

I nodded as we walked around the crowd to a blocked off section of the airport.  
Then I saw him. “Bill” I exhaled. He was talking with Tom. I got closer to him and he glanced my way and he stopped talking to tom. I read his lips as he whispered my name to himself.

I ran to Bill and threw my arms around him. He put his gentle arms around me and pulled me closer to him. God, I loved when he did that! I stood on my tippy toes and I whispered in his ear “I missed you so much!” We both pulled back and we looked at each other. His eyes were sparkling with love. He had the cutest smile on his face as he said “I missed you too”.

Are faces moves closer and closer as if are lips were magnets attracted to each other. When my lips met his soft ones, my eyes instantly shut and I was lost in the kiss.  
His arms snaked around me and he pulled me even closer. Oh, how I missed the feel of his lips upon mine! It felt so right, like being with him is meant to be

We pulled back as his arms unwrapped themselves from around me. We both smiled at one another lost within each others eyes. His eyes were so beautiful. He took my hand in his own and we walked over to Tom and the G’s.

When we got over to them I heard Tom say “God, you were kissing her so long, I thought Tara would leave this airport pregnant!” I blushed, Bill hit Tom playfully in the arm and Georg and Gustav laughed. Bill turned to me and asked “ready to go?”

I said yes as we all hopped in the car. Bill was driving, I was in the passenger seat and Tom, Georg and Gustav were in the back. This car ride should be interesting, I though to myself as we drove away from the airport.

The whole way there Gustav was a silent unlike Tom and Georg. They keep making immature kissing noises in the back seat making fun of me and Bill. When we stopped at a red light Bill gave them the finger and put his arm around me. As we pulled up to a hotel I heard Bill say to himself “I taste skittles?” and I giggled as we exited the car.


	11. Too Far?

Tara’a POV

I shut the car door and walked around to the back, were the others were. They all picked up there bags and shut the trunk. Tom and the G’s starting walking toward the hotel.  
Bill had two bags and it looked heavy to carry both. I walked up to Bill and offered  
“Want me to carry a bag for you?” He smiled at me and said “You’re my girlfriend, not my slave” I opened my mouth to contradict and he kissed my cheek and whispered  
“nein”, not letting me even try to carry something for him.

God, he’s so amazing. He’s extremely sweet, what more could a girl want. We caught up to the others in the hotel and they picked up their keys at the front desk. They walked up to the room and opened the door. We walked in and Bill ran to every room with his bags, looking for the biggest room. He ran back to us empty-handed and said “I claim the room to the left!” I laughed, he’s so cute. Bill grabbed my hand and lead me to the couch.

As we walked to the black couch our eyes never left each other. His beautiful brown eyes never left mine. I couldn’t look away, they took full control. Just a glance with his brown eyes looking into mine and I’m in a full blown trance. He looked at me as if he was going through the same thing with my eyes. We reached the couch and I threw my bag on the side and I sat down with Bill. We just sat there and looked in each others eyes. His eyes lit up and he smiled grabbing my hand. “Oh, I missed you so much. I’m so glad to see you again, Tara.” He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it.

I giggled and said smiling “I missed you too” I kissed his cheek and he wrapped his arms around me and we cuddled closer to each other. I was freezing but the moment his bare arms wrapped themselves around me, I was instantly warmed. I kicked off my sneakers and he did the same. I looked up from are fallen shoes. My hair fell out from behind my ear and covered half of my face.

He unwrapped one arm from around me and brushed my hair out of my face and placed it back behind my ear. “Your so beautiful” he said breathlessly. I glanced up, “you’re the beautiful one” I smiled. I can call a guy beautiful. Cute is for describing kittens and puppies. Handsome is too formal and Hot and sexy is too superficial. Of course when I’m calling him beautiful, I’m talking about his inter beauty. He’s extremely sexy on the outside.

He obviously didn’t mind me calling him beautiful because of the size of his smile on his lips. God, that smile of his is just breath taking. Those lips, I couldn’t take my eyes off of until they are upon mine. It felt like nothing else I’ve ever felt before to have Bill holding me and kissing me. How badly I wanted to kiss his soft sweet lips. His kisses were intoxicating. I should stop thinking about it and just so it, but before I got the chance.

Bills lips made there way to mine. The kiss started out soft and sweet. Bill tasted so good. “So beautiful” he whispered between kisses. Bill put one hand cupping my cheek and another on the back of my head. He pulled me in closer to him and the kisses became more passionate and wild. I moaned in his mouth in response. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. During the kiss Bill started to lay down and I made my way on top of him.

I was straddling his hips, he groaned louder and I felt something rock hard press against my thigh. Oh my god, I made Bill hard. I put more pressure on his hips and I hear him grown “oh, Tara” into my mouth. He ran is hand slowly down my side, going underneath my shirt. As soon as his hand made contact with my skin, it burned. He made me so hot. His hold on my neck, his kisses and now his hand underneath my shirt.

He’s making me lose control. He caressed my back, “Bill…” I moaned against his lips from his feverish touch. This was getting very hot very fast, yet he was so gentle with me.  
He treated me like I was a fragile piece of art. This felt so good, I thought that I was going to die. I would die happy in Bill’s arms. I’ve never done this with someone before. I never went this far. Farthest I’ve ever went is kissing. I just hope that I’m doing everything right,  
I don’t want to look like a idiot. We both pulled back for air and opened are eyes.

We were both out of breath. His eyes sparkled down at me, god he looked so sexy.  
I’m in love with him and I want him to know. Just before I could open my mouth, his lips were reattached to mine. It was just a passionate as before. I licked his bottom lip and he groaned in pleasure. I touched his tongue with the tip of mine and then withdrew, teasing him. I was getting him to lean forward, begging for more. His tongue soon chased after mine. We explored in each other mouths. I started to suck on his tongue, shuddering at the first feel of his cold tongue piercing. Yet it felt so good. With each stroke of Bill’s tongue, I was consumed by the heat.

“She longs for more and more and more” I whispered against his lips with our hearts pounding against each other. “Just wants more” Bill sang softly. I can’t believe I was on top of Bill. I don’t know what came over me. I never knew Bill was like this, I never knew that I was like this. Breaking my thoughts, Bill lifted his head up kissing me lightly on the lips. My lips instantly clung to his, responding to the kiss. During the kiss he started to sit up. He laid me down, getting on top of me.

He broke the kiss and I opened me eyes to see Bill looking down at me. He smiled at me moving his head down to my ear. “So very beautiful” he whispered into my ear, while brushing me hair away from my neck. His smooth hands tickled my neck, brushing every last strain of hair away. He pressed his lip against my neck, causing my eyes to shut automatically. He kissed my neck several times and then he started to suck.

His hand traveled to my head and he ran his hands through my hair. I trembled under his fingertips. I reached for him and held him, putting my arms around his neck. I felt him stop sucking and he removed his lips from my neck and asked with a sexy voice “Do you like that?” I felt his breath against my skin, which made chills run down my back. He started sucking the same spot again and started to nibble at my skin. It felt so pleasurable, I never wanted him to stop.

After nibbling at my neck he ran the tip of his tongue over the love bite and I sighed “Don’t… stop”. I felt him smile against my skin and he continued to suck. He removed his lips from my neck and searched for my eyes. Our brown eyes locked with one another and both are hearts we pounding at light speed. He slowly moved his lips closer to mine and just as they touched I heard someone walk in. Our eyes shot open.

We were frozen and I couldn’t move. We stared up at Tom who had a huge smirk on his face. Oh, my god! How long was he standing there watching? “Whoa, someone open a window because Bill and Tara are making it awfully hot in here!” he joked. Georg and Gustav walked in and Bill jumped off or me, sitting beside me and I sat up. Bill and I were blushing the brightest shade of red. They all started laughing and ]Bill and I. We just sat there awkwardly.

Bill’s POV

I’ve died and went to heaven. I had Tara on top of me, moaning my name. She even let me get on top of her. I gave her a hicky and she begged for more. I’ve never done this before, but it felt so right to do with Tara. Now the guys are laughing at us.  
We did go kind of far… I was surprised I let myself do all of that, but I just couldn’t stop.

Tara is like a drug and I’m addicted. I hope I didn’t pressure Tara into doing this.  
Oh my god, what if the guys haven’t have walked in and we went even farther and Tara didn’t want to but she did anyway. I feel terrible, I have to find out if Tara really wanted to do all that or if she felt pressured. I never wanted to pressure her into anything, thats just horrible. I love her… I would never want to do anything like that to her.

Tara’s POV

I still can’t get over that fact that Bill made me lose control like that. If Tom hadn’t came in, I don’t think we’d ever stop. Georg stepped forward and said “Sorry to interrupt but we wanted to know if you guys want to watch a movie.” Bill and I looked at each other at the same time and we nodded. Georg walked over to the dvd player, next to the tv and put it in. “What kind of movie is it?” I asked. Gustav stated “A horror film”.

My breathing stopped. I hate horror films, they freak me out and give me nightmares.  
I know that there not real, but still. Tom turned out the light and then walked over to the couch and sat to the right of Bill. The G’s sat down as the movie started.

Bill put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. We were about half way through the movie and I don’t know if I can watch any more of this. It’s extremely gory and scary. I can’t stand the sight of blood, but I keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want to ruin this for the guys. “don’t go in the room!” Georg yelled at the tv. The character in the movie walked slowly in the room and then a thin creature jumped out of nowhere and jumped on his back, slicing his neck. I flinched and shut my eyes, not wanting to see the blood.

I keep my eyes shut through a majority of this movie so far. When I opened my eyes Bill had his hand in front of me. I took in in my own and watched more of the movie.  
Another character was attacked by the creature and I squeezed his hand tight shutting my eyes, through the scene. Bill stroked my hand with his thumb and kissed my forehead, comforting me. He took his arm from around me and grabbed the remote control and paused the movie.

“Do you guys want to keep watching this movie? It’s kind of freaking me out” Bill said. I knew he did it for me because he seemed to be fine through out the movie along with the other. But I did see Gustav flinch once or twice. Tom got up and turned on the light and said “yeah, this movie is kind of weird” Tom agreed. “What do you guys want to do now?” Georg asked. We all sat there thinking and the Bill jumped off the couch onto his feet and said with excitement “Let’s go swimming!”

Gustav stood up and yawned “I’m actually really tired you guys. I think I’m going to go to bed” said Gustav walking toward his room. “Guten Nacht” said the four of us. Bill gave me his hand, helping me up and handed me my bag. I smiled and he brought me to one of the three bathrooms.

He opened the door and turned on the light for me. “Dankeschön!” I said walking into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. “I’ll be waiting for you outside at the pool, When you leave the hotel room, walk to the right and there is a sign that points to the pool.” Bill said. “Ok” I said. I grabbed my bikini out of my bad and got changed.

I looked in the mirror and almost screamed. I forgot about the bruises all over my body from the attack. They were up and down my arms and some on my legs. Good thing Bill didn’t notice the bandage on my arm, I sighed in relief.

I looked at my back and you can see even more. I can’t go out there like this…  
But it’s too late now. I can’t let Bill see these marks. He’ll want to know were I got them  
and I’ll have to tell him. No…


	12. It's Not Possible!

*Flashback* (9 Year old Tara)

I brushed my curly brown locks behind my ear, with my small purple painted nails. In moved my ear toward my newly painted white door, that stood before me. Well, it looked newly painted. My uncle Cameron visited me for my birthday on August 22nd.  
He saw that my bedrooms door paint was chipping. So he came back a week later with a huge bucket full of white paint, with a few brushes. It was so nice of him to paint my door for me, the paint on my door really needed to be fixed up.

 

Though, two weeks after he painted my door, my mom told me that my uncle moved away. I knew she wasn’t telling the truth. Earlier that day I heard her and my father talking and she said that uncle Cameron got in a car accident. He had to stay late at work, in the office. After he was done at the office, on his way home a drunk driver smashed into his car. Uncle Cameron’s car spun out of control and hit a tree.

The drunk driver was arrested, but he took my uncles life. I blinked away the tears that formed from remembering the death of one of my close relatives. I placed my ear against the door and listened, to see if my father was awake and out of his room. I heard the voice of the weather man echo from the TV in his room, to the hallway outside of my bedroom door. I clenched the silver door knob and twisted it to the right, pushing it forward. As the door swung open, a cloud of cigarette smoke blown upon my face.

I accidentally inhaled some and I closed my eyes, coughing uncontrollably. I shut my door and ran to my window, lifting it upward. I let the morning wind blow into my bedroom and I breathed in the fresh air. I leaned up against the windowsill and closed my eyes. I let the light winds blow through my hair, lifting it softly from my shoulders. When the winds power decreased I opened my brown shining eyes and glanced over to my clock. It was 8:10a.m already!

 

I slammed my window shut and ran over to my mirror and brushed through my hair one last time before leaving. I darted to my backpack, that was laying on top of my mattress.  
I grabbed it and dashed down stairs, running out the door. I was going to be late for school! My feet went as fast as they could go. As I made a swift turn around the corner I heard the cold wind whistle against my ears. I keep running until I made it to the end of the block, I had to cross the street.

The crossing guard already left her post, leaving me having to cross by myself. I’ve done this before, I’ll be fine, I thought to myself. I looked both ways and continued running forward, reaching the schools stares. I dashed up each step, coming closer to the top. When I got there, I swung the door open, running down the hallway. When I reached Room 12 I opened it. I ran to the bag area and hung my bag up on the hock that was underneath of my name in blue writing.

 

I turned around and faced the class. They were all staring at me, I began to walk to my seat and they all went back to what they were doing. I took my seat on the opposite side of Emily, the most popular girl in the grade. I glanced over to the teachers desk, she wasn’t there. She must have gone to the bathroom or something. I smiled, now I wouldn’t be marked late! “What are you smiling about weirdo?” Gracie Chance called from the other side of my desk.

She was seated next to Emily, who was laughing at her comment. The whole class stopped talking for they heard Emily’s loud, obnoxious giggling. If someone made Emily laugh, the popular. The joke would obviously be hilarious. “Tara’s a weirdo!” Emily laughed even harder. The entire class filled with giggles and I couldn’t breath. Everyone is laughing at me. Why? What did I do wrong? I thought to myself worriedly. Gracie stood from her seat and walked around to me. She grabbed my arm and pointed to a browse with her other hand. “Eww! What’s wrong with her?” Gracie shrieked.

 

Everyone starred at the black and blue mark on my upper right arm. She instantly threw my arm down in repulsion and jumped back, away from me. “It’s so ugly!” She screamed. She walked backward staring at my brose, the whole way back to her seat.  
“Tara’s an ugly butt-face!” Trevor Kimmel shouted from across the room.  
Every started laughing even harder, I felt my eyes well up with water and my bottom lip begin to tremble.

 

I tried to keep myself from crying in front of everyone, but it was no use. When the first tear fell, they all began to start raining down. I was shacking like crazy and balling my eyes out. “Look the ugly is crying!” Emily pointed. I stood, nearly knocking my chair over and went for the door. I couldn’t stay here any longer. I turned the doorknob and shoved the door open. I bolted down the hallway are pushed open the exit door. I shot to the only place I knew I could be alone.

I climbed up the huge oak as far as I knew I could go, without getting stuck. Though at this point, I didn’t care wither or not if ever did return. I whipped my tears away with my shaking hands. No matter how many times I did, the tears never stopped. They were a never ending waterfall, for I couldn’t stop. So, I sat in the tree and cried and cried, waiting for someone to rescue me. Though that someone never came. I was alone…

 

~Tara’s POV~  
One single tear slipped from my eyes from that dreaded memory. Not because I was hurt, but because of the fact that Gracie was repulsed by just one single browse I received from my father. I know Bill would never act in such a way from seeing a browse, but wouldn’t he be repulsed by seeing scars and browses all over my body. What if he thinks I’m ugly because of all the marks? I don’t know what hurts more. Having to ask myself that question or having the thought of Bill thinking I’m ugly.

 

I glanced back in the mirror again and hated the sight of myself. Knock, knock, knock, on the door. I nearly jumped out of my skin. “I’ll be out there waiting” Bill said joyfully.  
I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror one last time. Before I exited the bathroom,  
I got an idea. I grabbed my clothes are wore them over top. I would just take them off when I get outside, in the dark. I walked down the hallway and entered the outdoor pool area. I didn’t see anyone, where were they? I slipped off my clothes are placed them on a white folding chair.

“Bill where are-  
Someone grabbed me from behind, grabbing my upper body. I screamed.  
I looked up and saw Bill smiling at me with a devilish smirk on his face. I felt my lower body being lifted up and my eyes shot toward Tom, who was holding my legs. “NO! NEIN!  
I won’t let you do this!” I shrieked.

They carried me to the edge of the pool and started swinging me from side to side.  
Eins! Bill counted laughing. Zwei! Tom counted laughing. I felt my body swing toward the pool and Bill and Tom released me. I screamed as my body smashed against the cold blue water. I heard them scream drei, laughing together, as I began to sink under. I shot back up, pushing with my feet from the bottom.

 

“Those bastards” I grumbled to myself swimming to back to the edge. I lifted myself out of the pool and back on my feet. They were still laughing hysterically, leaning on each other for balance. I dashed behind Bill and pushed him forward, sending him straight into the pool. Tom’s eyes lit up and he laughed even harder, almost falling down.

I walked to the edge and Bill’s head popped out of the water, with his hair no longer spiked into a lions main. “I’m going to get you!” Bill chuckled, threateningly. “Not if I get you first!” I yelled jumping into the pool, splashing Bill. When I pushed with my feet from the bottom of the pool, before I could open my eyes. He grabbed me from around my waist from behind, pulling me into his arms.

 

He turned his neck, so that his lips were right next to my ear. “Nein, I got you” He whispered into my ear, sending chills running down my spine. I turned a little, trying to face him and his lips caught mine in the process with a slow, sweet kiss. He turned me so I was facing him all the way, during the kiss. Our lips departed slowly as our eyes opened slowly. Our eyes were instantly locked.

We moved closer moving in for a second kiss, when we felt a huge splash come our way. We looked over and saw Tom swimming up and Georg standing at the edge of the pool, brushing his hands clean from his job of pushing Tom in. “Danke Georg!” I giggled.  
"No problem” He responded, jumping into the pool. I turned to Bill who was laughing at Tom. I smiled, his laugh is so funny it’s adorable.

 

I kissed him on the cheek, I couldn’t resist. He returned a smile and kissed my cheek.  
We smiled at each other lovingly and Tom splashed us complaining “Quite it love birds, I’m bored.” Bill and I laughed and began splashing him back. It turned into this massive splash fight with Bill and I against Tom and Georg. Bill and I were winning!

About twenty-five minutes later we stopped with the splashing. “I don‘t know about you guys, but I‘m tiered” Georg said climbing out of the pool. “I’m getting myself some leftover pizza and going to sleep” Tom said, jumping out of the pool. Bill turned to me and whispered  
“Sorry that all we have is leftover pizza for if you get hungry. Next time I’ll try make something special, just for you!” He declared.

 

“Bill your so sweet” I complimented. We watched Tom place a towel around himself and walk back into the hotel. “I guess that just leaves us” I whispered. “I guess it does”  
he smiled, taking me back in his arms. He started to sway us side to side as he sang  
the chorus to “Monsoon” softly.

I closed my eyes, melting at the sound of his voice. I must be in heaven, I’ve never felt so happy before. I breathed in the sweet, fresh air of the night and leaned back all the way into Bill’s embrace. He loosened his arms from around me, and walked around to my front. His arms were now around my back and his eyes were sparkling down into mine. “And nothing can hold me back from you” he sang with his lips curving into a smile.

He pulled me closer and I laid my arms lightly around his neck. “Through the monsoon” we sang together in perfect harmony. Our eyes grew wide and brightened at the sound of both of our voices intertwining into a beautiful duet. “That sounded…” I said unfinished, unable to think of a good enough word to describe.

“Incredibly beautiful” he whispered, kissing my forehead. “Like you” He complimented, Right before he kissed my lips ever so softly. I blushed as his sweet lips touched mine, sending electricity through my veins. Our lips departed and he cupped my cheek with his delicate hand. He detached his hand from my cheek and lightly pressed the back of his hand to the same cheek. “Tara, your freezing!” He exclaimed.

He took one of my hands in his and asked “Why didn’t you tell me you were cold?”.  
I smiled at how much he cared about me. “I just love spending time with you, I didn’t want to ruin it” I responded truthfully. “Oh, Tara” Bill whispered caressing the side of my face lovingly. "No time of mine could be ruined, with you beside me. It's not possible!" He reassured.

 

I stood on my tippy toes in the water, kissing his lips. "Thank you" I whispered with my eyes tearing up. He makes me feel special, he makes me so happy. "Your wearing the necklace" He grinned, lifting the small, half heart up with his finger. I looked at his neck and noticed that he was wearing the other half. We shared a moment of silence, filled with happiness.

"Come, we must go. It's getting kind of late and you're cold." he said. He lead me toward the stairway, rising out of the water. All the sudden the pool lights turned on, brightened up the pool. Bill looked back at me smiling.

The smile faded when the scar on my arm caught his eye and he gasped "Oh my god! Tara, what happened?" I glanced down at my arm and then up at him. No! I never wanted him to see my cut. My eyes filled with tears and he held my marked arm in both of his hands. He stared down at it in worry. "Who... Who did this to you?" He questioned with a tint of anger in his tone.

I grabbed one of his arms and held it to me. I shut my eyes, putting my head down and took a deep breath.  
Now I had no choice... I had to tell him.


	13. Pain Of The Past

Bill’s POV

I held Tara’s smooth silk hand, firm in mine. Our fingers intertwined, dangling above the crystal blue water. The moons light gleamed down reflecting off of Tara’s dark eyes, making her eyes twinkle as bright as the stars. We started walking through the water, traveling to the stares. When the pool lights flashed on. I turned toward her again and smiled into her pretty eyes. “Beautiful angel”, I whispered looking down at her. My eyes drifter lower, glancing down at her sexy slim body. Then I spotted a scar on her stomach.

 

I looked lower and saw browses on her legs and a few scares. Oh, my god… When did she get these marks? I started to look back up at her when I saw a huge slice on her right arm. It didn’t look too old, it was very red. “Oh my god! Tara, what happened?” I gasped.

 

She quickly looked down at were my eyes were directed. She looked back up at me, breathing heavy and tears started to build up in her eyes. She appeared to be scared. She didn’t have that scar before the band went to New York. I’ve never seen any of these marks. My poor Tara… I must know what happened. I took her marked arm in both my hands and asked worriedly, “Who… Who did this to you?”. I let her arm go and she took mine and held it to herself.

I felt her heart race. During the silence, her grip on my arm loosened. She started to turn away from me, dropping my arm. Before she could completely turn away from me, I slowly cupped both sides of her face in my palms. I gently turned her head to face me. A few more tears streamed from her eyes. Her watery eyes followed my thumbs as they swept away every last tear that escaped. She glanced up, looking into my eyes with her pleading ones. They were pleading for forgiveness, love and comfort. No matter what, I vow to always be willing to provide her with that.

 

With both sides of her face held in my palms, I slowly began moving my face toward hers. I shut my eyes and tilted my head, kissing her tear stained lips. I just want to show her that I love her and that I’m always here for her. I pulled back, opening my eyes. Her lashes fluttered, opening her shiny brown orbs. She made a tiny smile and I smiled back. Her smiled faded and another tear slipped from her eye.

This is killing me to see her cry so much. With every tear she sheds, the more my heart shatters. I can’t bare to watch her hurt like this. I put my arm around her and said   
“Come sit with me”. We started walking up the pools steps when I felt her lightly put her arm around me. The ground felt cool, below our wet feet. We made our way over to a white pool lounge chair and we sat down together. She was still freezing,   
I felt goose bumps form on her arm under my fingertips. I stood and grabbed a   
red beach towel, wrapping it around Tara.

 

“Thanks” she whispered weakly. My eyes scanned Tara’s body again, finding all the scares and browses I had spotted only moments before. She let her head hang down, trying to avoid me from seeing her face. I placed my open hand, atop of hers. I closed my hand, intertwining my fingers within hers. She lifted her head and turned to me slowly. When our eyes met, she closed her fingers down on mine. I planted a kiss on her cheek and I noticed a bit of color returned to her face.

 

She gazed up upon the sky in wonder. “The stares are so beautiful tonight…   
they‘re never this bright” she whispered in disbelief. “Ja, they are beautiful” I agreed.   
The sound of the crickets chirping consumed the silence. I glanced down once more to Tara’s right arm. The red scar going down her arm had to be about four inches long.   
I can’t take this anymore, I must know how this happened. It’s killing me to know how she got this scar. Whatever caused this is upsetting her. It’s my job as her boyfriend to protect her and love her. It’s time for me to do what I must do and save her.

 

“Tara… How did you get that scar on your arm?” I asked. She looked as though she were afraid to tell me. I took her other hand in mine and gazed into her eyes.   
“Always remember this Tara. I am here for you no matter what. Nothing you can say or do, will ever make me hate you.” I reassured her. She smiled as one single tear slithered down her cheek. Before I could whip it away, she retrieved her hands from mine. She buried her face in my bare chest, clamping her arms around me. I placed my arms around her and held her close to me.

She started to unwrap her arms from around me and I released her. She inhaled deeply and keep her eyes down at her hands. “M-My ex-boyfriends… friend Frank attacked me” she confessed, biting her bottom lip. I can’t believe what I am hearing. How could someone do such a thing… To her. The image of someone hurting my Tara flashed through my mind.

Her eyes looked up at me. They were full of pain. Her eyes filled with tears again and without hesitation I pulled Tara into my arms. I put one hand on the small of her back and my other hand smoothed her hair. She sobbed in my arms, I felt the hot tears fall onto my chest. I rubbed her back and whispered into her ear “Shh, Tara... You’re safe now, no one will hurt you. I will NEVER let ANYONE hurt you” Her cries decreased, as her strength of her hold of me grew weaker.

 

She pulled back and our eyes locked on each other. “How could someone do that to you?” I whispered. “You mean so much to me Tara… It kills me to know that someone could hurt you in such a way, but… I want to know everything” I said. She nodded in understanding and she blinked the last of her tears away. I took her by the hand and helped her to her feet.

I pulled her into an embrace and said “Why don’t you get in the shower and cleaned up while I heat us up some pizza, then we will talk about it. Ok?” I asked. She nodded as we started to walk back into the hotel. When we reached the room, I grabbed the hotel key out of my swim shorts pocket and opened the door. I walked Tara to the bathroom and flicked the light on for her.

“I’ll set a towel and some clothes for you on the sink” She nodded and walked in, shutting the door behind her. She’s so silent, but who wouldn’t be after telling someone something so scary that she went through. I walked into my bedroom and opened up my suitcase.   
I grabbed Tara a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, along with a towel. I walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door saying that I was coming in to put her stuff on the sink.

 

I heard an “Ok” come from inside the shower and I opened the door, walking into a room of steam. I placed them on the shiny white sink and walked out, shutting the door behind me. I shot to the kitchen to see if Tom and Georg left us any pizza. I opened the refrigerator and lifted the pizza box into my arms and shut the refrigerator with my foot. I placed the box on the table and opened the lid.

There were only two small pieces left. I placed them on one plate, putting it in the toaster oven. I sat at the table waiting for it to be done. Exactly when the timer went “Ding!”,   
Tara slowly walked in. My head popped up from laying my head on the table and I flashed her a smile. I stood and walked over to the toaster oven and opened it, grabbing the plate. I shut the toaster and unplugged it.

I turned around and placed the plate right in front of Tara. She looked at the pizza in front of her and lifted the empty pizza box. “There is nothing in here” she stated. She looked up at me and said “What are you going to eat?” I sat back down in the seat beside her and said “You can have the rest”. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Yeah, I’m fine” I said. She took a bite, chewed and swallowed. “This is really good!” she exclaimed. “Glad you like it” I laughed.

We sat there smiling at each other and Tara asked “Are you getting in the shower?” I stood up and said “That’s a great idea. By the time your done eating, I’ll be out of the shower.” She nodded and I walked out of the kitchen and into the bathroom.

 

Tara’s POV

I took another bite of the delicious pizza when Bill walked out of the kitchen. It was really nice of him to give me his piece of pizza, but I’m not that hungry. When I finished one piece I pushed the last piece to the side, leaving it for Bill. I sat by myself in the wooden chair humming Monsoon. I stood up and grabbed the empty pizza box, bringing it over to the trashcan. I placed it beside it so someone knew it was empty and it needed to be thrown out.

 

I felt two arms snake around my waist from behind. I turned my head and saw Bill grinning down at me. He looked so hot. He wasn’t wearing any make-up and didn’t have his hair in a loins main, but he still looked breathtaking. I faced him and put my arms around his slim body. He smelled fresh and clean.

When we were about to walk back to his room he notice the pizza I left him. “You didn’t eat the second slice” he said pointed to the piece sitting on the table. He looked back at me and I said “I left it for you”. He kissed my cheek and said “Danke!”.

 

He skipped over to the table and ate the pizza in a matter of five seconds. He returned to my side whipping his mouth with a napkin, throwing it into the trashcan. “Do you mind sharing a bed with me or do you want to take the bed and I’ll take the couch?” He asked. “We can share the bed” I smiled. “What ever you’re comfortable with, is fine with me” he said, when he opened the bedroom door. He strolled to the side of the king sized mattress and lifted the blanket up.

He patted on the bed with his black nails with white tips. I walked toward the bed as he stepped to the side, moving out of the way. I slowly sat in the bed, hugging my legs close to myself. He placed the lifted blanket over me, just below my shoulders. I let go of my legs and laid down in the comfy bed, under the warm cover. He circled around to the other side of the bed.

Just before he sat down, he asked “Do you need anything?”. I thought for a second and said “No, I don’t think so. But, thanks” I thanked. He’s so kind and caring towards me, I thought as he sat on the opposite side of were I got in the bed. He peeled off his skin tight, black shirt and turned to me. He was dressed only in his boxers. His star tattoo was sticking out and extremely noticeable. He looked so sexy with it, it suits him.

 

We were now facing each other, laying down on our sides. I gazed into his eyes, getting lose within the gaze. Just the way he looks at me, shows he cares a great deal of me. The way his eyes light up when I walk in the room. They way he holds and comforts me through my tears. They way he kisses me silently through the night. All of that must mean… Does he love me? I know he really, really likes me, but I wonder if he loves me.

 

I know I love him, I can just feel it. I’ve never been in love before, until now. When I’m with Bill I feel like a new person. All my life I felt like something was missing and that I was incomplete. When I’m with Bill, I feel like everything is the way it should be and that I’m now complete. I feel so very happy when he’s beside me.

 

Hearing his sweet voice, feeling his gentle caress and being caught in his tender kiss. All of that fights away my pain of the past and blocks out all the fears of the future. He makes me feel save and secure. Sense the day I meant him, my life has changed, for the better. I do love him… I love Bill!<3


	14. Those Three Words

Bill’s POV

I played with my tongue piercing as my eyes seemed to be glued to Tara’s pink, kissable lips. They feel so good attached to mine. I mentally slapped myself in the face.   
“I need to focus on helping Tara, not her lips that I would very much enjoy having against mine...” I yelled at myself in my head.

“Tara, I need to know what happened… now. I’m sorry that I’m opening up old wounds, but I need to know. I need to know where you got those marks. I must…   
I feel like a horrible person for not being there for you and I feel like I’m the worst   
boyfri-” she cut me off, placing her hand over my heart saying “I understand…”

 

“Bill?” she asked. I covered her hand over my heart with my hand, answering “Yes?”. “You shouldn’t feel like a horrible person… I should. I am your girlfriend,   
I am to be honest and truthful to you. There are a lot of things about me I never   
told you and didn’t really plan on telling you. I’m sorry… I-”

 

“Shhh, no…” I whispered, cutting her off by placing my finger over her lips.   
“You have nothing to be sorry about… nothing.” I assured.   
“Well, I guess I should tell you…” she supposed.

“I… uhhh… I got the marks you saw on my body from my father” She confessed, just above a whisper. My eyes were wide and my mouth opened in disbelief. How could he do this to her. “Your father does this… to you” I asked breathlessly.

I grabbed her shaking hand in mine, squeezing it, giving her my strength.   
She bit her bottom lip, then released it chocking out “Yes!”. She was shaking with fear from the horrid memories and it appeared that she was going to cry again. I sat up,   
my back against the bedpost. I pulled her onto my lap, holding her against my chest.

 

She hide her face for a minute and then lifted her head back up at me and whispered   
“He always hit me. I never did anything wrong.. Never… even to this day, he- he hits me.” I was speechless. Is that where she got that slice on her cheek, when I took her out for fireworks? Must have been. God, I wish I would have known…

“My mom is always out at work, so she doesn’t notice and I would never tell her. My father… H-He threatened to kill me if I told anyone about what he does… He once even… tried to r-rape m-me” she cried against my warm skin. I held her as close as possible, slipping my arms around her, protecting her from all harm.

Why would he attempt to do such a thing to his OWN daughter? I wanted to strangle this bastard. How dare he do such a thing to her? How could he put so much terror in this wonderful angels life? I can‘t let her live like this anymore. I can‘t let her live in this fear, in this hurt and in this pain.

“I won’t let you stay there anymore Tara… I can’t” I said comely, trying to hide my anger. “Wha-what?” she whispered bewildered. I took a deep breath, praying that she would say yes to what I am about to ask. I can’t let this angel live in hell with that… that demon!

“Tara… I can’t let you suffer anymore. It kills me” I paused, afraid of what I’m asking of her will be rejected. “I-I… I want you to live with me, Tara. I can’t let you hurt like this.“   
My heart is thundering. “thump, thump, thumps” hit fast against my chest.   
“I… Tara I…” My voice was trembling. I never thought it would be this hard to confess those three words. I paused, gaining confidence. “I love you” I smiled confidently. I’ve wanted to get those words out for the longest time. I guess the more they mean to you, the more harder it is to confess. I meant every single one of them.

 

Tara’s POV

Those three words that cause space and time to stand still. At this very moment. My heart is thundering inside of me. I could sense that Bill had the same feeling inside. I couldn’t breath, unable to inhale air surrounding Bill and I. Those three simple words have a huge impact on everything. It has felt like I’ve waited an eternity to hear those three words to be said to me, leaving Bill’s sweet lips and his lips alone.

 

“Oh bill. I… I love you too!” I freed from my heart, saying it aloud. I hugged him, pulling him close “So much” I whispered against him. I moved back and he smiled. God, it felt so good to confess those words and see him smile like that. “Do you mean that, Tara?” He asked still smiling, cupping my left cheek. I copied him, cupping his cheek. His skin is so soft, I thought to myself as my fingers made contact with his face.

 

That face that fits so perfectly in my hand. We are like the last two parts of a puzzle that have found there way together, where they were meant to be, completing it.   
“Yes bill, I meant every last one” I assured. He whispered, “Every last” leaning forward. “One” we chorused as are lips touched, sending sparks though us both. I placed my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer, if it was even possible at this point. He caressed me softly, running his hands up my side.

 

When he ended the kiss, I opened my eyes. He was already smiling at me.   
“So will you move in with me?” He asked full of joy. Was I dreaming? This has to be a dream. Everything with Bill is so amazing and enjoyable, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I only had one possible answer...

 

“Yes” I said. I giggled, “You have the cutest smile!”. When my words sank in, his smile grew bigger. “You look so precious when you laugh” He gazed down at me with love, caressing my cheek. My eyes shut instantly when his sweet, gentle touch made contact with my face. My eyes shot open at the thought of something I completely forgot about. The band.

He noticed my sudden act and asked “What is it”. I took his hands in mine and said   
“Bill, I would love to live with you but what about the band, what about the others. Wouldn’t they mind me living with you and how would this all work?”

 

I am so confused, I don’t know where to start with the questions. He silenced my worry and confusion, placing his finger over my lips. He smiled “Tokio Hotel’s tour for this album has already ended, that’s why we have so much more free time lately and the band likes you a lot.” My eyes lit up. “They really do?” I asked. “Yes” he grinned.

He continued “They really like you. They think you are the best girlfriend I ever had”   
I blushed. “They say that your funny, cute and nice and they said that… You seem like you’re the first girlfriend that’s not with me for fame or money.” He stopped.

Sympathy consumed me at this point. Poor Bill, he only wanted to find someone special, the girls he liked in the end were only with him for the fame and money. The sad part is that he’s such a sweet guy and they are only after him, for what he's worth. To me, he’s worth much more then just fame and money. He’s worth everything to me. I pulled him into a hug and whispered “Girls like that are just horrible. I think it’s just plain cruel to do that to someone.”

 

He pulled out of my embrace and looked into my eyes, his building up with a small amount of tears. “You mean, you really do love me… for me and not just my fame and money?” he asked with hope. My heart sank, how could he ever think that I was doing that to him. “Bill, when I told you I love you, I meant it. The word ‘you’ is in what I feel and said because It you I love, not your money.” I assured.

 

I saw one sparkling tear run down his pale face and he wrapped his arms around me.   
"Ich liebe dich, Tara... Ich liebe dich" he whispered into my hair. I placed my arms around his shirtless body "Ich liebe dich auch". I released him and I laid down in his embrace with my upper body on his lap. I tilted my head back looking up at him. Our brown eyes connected, we both smiled at each other.

Oh, I'm so in love with him I thought to myself. My head was leaning on his chest, which was rising and falling. My eyes drifted away from his as one thought popped into my mind. I never told him about John. I know he loves me, though I’m still afraid to tell him about what John did to me. Oh god, what would Bill think after I tell him? Would he still look at me the same way? I bit my bottom lip hard, shutting my eyes deep into thought.

 

I felt Bill move from underneath me, sitting up more. When I opened my eyes he was glaring down at me in worry. Before I could even inhale another breath he asked, stammering “Tara what is it?… Is something wrong?” Oh my poor Bill must think that he had done something wrong. I thought this because of the worry that was in his eyes.

 

I pulled myself up, turning around and I was now facing him. “There is something that I didn’t tell you, that I feel I have to tell you now” I said truthfully. Bill recognized how uncomfortable I was by the sound of my voice so he took my hands in his smooth ones and whispered “You can tell me anything” He reminded comfortingly. His words helped ease my worry, but I was still scared. “My ex-boyfriend John” I whispered breathlessly. He squeezed my hands lightly; nodding his head slowly, following.

 

“He did some messed up things..” my voice started to tremble at the terrible memories. “He-He… He would beat me too” I softly chocked out. I felt one tear rush down my cheek. I let my head hang down, having my blood-red highlighted brown curls shield my face. “No” I heard him whisper to himself in disbelief. I felt his hand let go of one of mine and it swept my hair to the side, uncovering my face. Why does he always do that? When ever   
I try to hide, he comes and finds me.

 

He lifted my head up with the tips of his fingers. When my head was lifted my eyes fled, refusing to meet his gaze. Finally, he spoke me name with his sweet,   
soothing voice “Tara”.

My eyes betrayed me, instantly looked back into his, giving in. “Tara” he smoothed again as his finger tips slowly slid up the side of my face, taking my cheek in his palm.   
His hands were so soft, so warm, so angel like. Any other time someone had their hand attached to my face, I was usually being hit. This time my face was in the palm of an angel. An angel of love.

 

My mouth opened a little then closed and repeated. I have more to say, I just don’t have the courage to say it. “Believe in me Tara” He spoke softly. I swallowed and breathed out “He knows about you and me and he’s angry… a-and h-he has sent me threats s-several times already… telling me to leave you or else.” Tears started to flood down. I promised myself that there would be no floods this time. The promise is now shattered. His eyes softened, “Oh, Tara. My poor, frightened Tara” He inched his lips toward my face, but not to my lips. He kissed away every tear that rained down, until they stopped. I took a breath and started again “I’m just afraid for you and for us. I love you and I don’t want him to ruin it.. I-”

“Nothing could even ruin us Tara… nothing” He promised. He continued “We can’t live in fear. If we did, we wouldn’t be living to the fullest” He paused. “Our love is pure and strong, I could feel it the first time I laid eyes on you” I saw the same look in his eyes that I had scene when he sang “By Your Side” at the concert.

 

It really was love at first sight. “Nothing can hold me back from you” he restated from the song Monsoon. I smiled a little and then frowned saying “He killed his own mother Bill… His own mother” Shock was all over his face. “I know what he is capable of and I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me… I would never forgive myself”

He took his hand from my cheek to my arm and started to rub it. “Everything will work out. It will all be okay. You just have to believe in it” He smiled. I returned the smile and said   
“I believe” he gave me a soft peck on the lips and laid me down onto the bed. He placed the covers over top of me. I buried myself under the blanket while Bill reached for the lamp on the wooden night stand.

 

He flicked the switch down and laid down beside me. I faced him and he pulled me close into his arms. I cuddled into his warm embrace and whispered “Guten Nacht Bill”, closing my eyes. I felt his lips kiss my forehead and he purred “Gute Nacht meine Liebe”.   
In his arms I fell into what seemed a sleep of endless happiness.

 

Bill’s POV

My eyes shot open. The room was darkened. All I could see was Tara, who lay facing me. She was still snuggling into my chest, as she was doing before we feel asleep.   
Our legs and feet were tangled together under the warm blankets. My arms were wrapped around her protectively, holding her as close as possible to me.

 

Beautiful was the only word that came to my mind while my eyes were casting over her. Her face was the only part of her that was in view. The moons light shinned through the window, leaving a small amount of spotlight over her angel-like features.   
She was smirking in her sleep. I smiled and then felt a jolt come from her.

Her smiled faded and her face showed nothing but distress. “Help me... please” she whimpered in her sleep. She must have been having a nightmare. I caressed he face with my fingers. “I’m right here Tara” I said quietly enough so she wouldn’t wake.

Her frightened face soon turned back to a smile of joy. How could that guy John ever do such a thing. I would never lay a hand on Tara, Never. I don’t care if he pointed a gun straight at me. I will protect Tara forever, no matter what the cost. Nothing can tear us apart and nothing ever will.

I felt her start to shake in my arms and her smiled faded again. I kissed her lips lightly, she didn't awaken from her sleep. Her smile returned and I whispered to her sleeping form “Don’t worry about anything Tara. I will get you away from that hell house and you will be safe with me. I will protect you with my life. I love you”

 

With those three final words spoken, her smile grew larger. I confessed those three small words to the girl that means the world to me. She finally knows how strong my feeling are for her. I will be able to join Tara now, in her peaceful slumber. Thanks to the help of those three words she said to me earlier before I feel asleep, I can return to a peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Please Review and tell me what you think!!!=)


End file.
